withdrawl and every crazy manner of commotion

1. Someone (who may be pictured here) broke my chandelier while I was away. Anybody know how to replace the glass? 2. Gleeful archery graduate (midweek) - my son Artdog. 3. Brothers at practice.

I am now a proud graduate of "Bow Hunters Education" along with my 3 eldest children, some men and many small boys. This weekend my husband had a table at a large gun show while I spent the weekend shopping and getting myself into trouble.
It all started with our accountability group last week. We read chapter 2 of Shaunti Feldhams "For Women Only". It had to do with showing our husbands respect. I decided I was going to start trying to please, impress and show respect to my man. This has not worked out very well for me.
The last day of Bow hunters Education, I was very proud to have scored 100% on my written test. I was just sure my husband would be thoroughly impressed. These kinds of interests have come by me hard - just read my account of how I shot my first buck (back in November). Anyway, I was quite gleeful. I even stopped to clean out the car before we began our hour long drive home up into the remote location where we abide. I figured since it really bothers him to have a dirty car this would give me extra credit. I was just ready for him to feel respected and impressed.
As I happily drove home with a big smile on my face feeling giddy, I noticed that home was getting close. We were all so excited talking about the coming weekend and the end of classes. Suddenly as I took a drink of water out of my water bottle the Tundra started sliding all over and ended up in the ditch! We dug in the cold snow for quite some time but couldn't unearth the beast. Eventually we gave up and the boys built a small fire on either side of the truck as a warning to anyone coming down the road. Nobody came except for my husband who had a big frown on his face and told me I was driving too fast. It was midnight or later, he was tired and certainly not impressed.
It didn't get much better as time wore on. While shopping (and even not spending much money), a fiendish pole happened to jump out at me while backing up, attacking our Suburban with out provocation. It crumpled the back corner without my realization. I figured it hadn't hit hard enough to do anything. I was just sure he would be happy I hadn't spent much money and I didn't even ask to eat out any where expensive. I just smiled and said "whatever you want dear". Later on when I dropped him off somewhere he had a horrible look on his face. Then the realization hit me, there had to be damage to the car. Enough damage for him to notice as I was driving away. Ug!! Strike two.
As the weekend wore on, I began to lose the hope that I would improve in my wifely abilities at all. It seems like every time I try, something catastrophic happens! I even pouted once or twice (which I am really trying hard not to do)!
Possibly I may attribute these calamities to my week long coffee fast. Tomorrow is my last day on it. This also may explain why I imagined myself as a Lord of the Rings elf doing acrobatics on the tables of our bow hunters education class.

Happy 13th Birthday Sock Fashion Expert!

Happy Birthday! Do yo thang!!!

Educational OVERLOAD

Here i am receiving a crash course in archery from eldest 4 children.

I'm currently on an educational overload!! It all started after working those 2 12-hour shifts. I had an 8 hour "Non Violent Crisis Intervention" class. It was very interesting. I learned that I want to create "harmony not harm" when someone is displaying violent tendencies toward me at work. I learned that instead of offering folks coffee (like I have for untold eons), herbal tea is a better choice for those experiencing anxiety. I learned not to invade their personal space (which is called proxemics). Also, how I say things is only 30% of what I am saying. How I use tone, speed (cadence), and volume along with nonverbal body language is important in conveying my message. I also learned cool moves to get out of holds and how to do a "take down". It was fun (but a long day).

I attended a 3-4 hour required class yesterday for my concealed weapons permit. It was held in a windowless building for Masons. My instructor was a nice elderly gentleman in his 80's. His wife is a 40 year old Filipino lady who popped in a couple of times. They are also adopting her niece who is now 6. He shared his frustrations about his daughters green card/adoption process. He told me stories of his yesteryear. He showed me some basics of gun handling and safety. He also let me play with his gun that has a laser on it. Other than being cooped up in a windowless building with space heaters aimed at me, it was alright. I also watched some old videos about shooting and cleaning guns. The characters were some what entertaining because they had 70's style clothes and hair styles and the TV looked to be from that era as well.

Then I sat for an hour looking at a dark window in the sheriffs office. Occasionally a very short woman would come out behind a locked door to direct me to the next paper item I was to fill out. To my right were windows and phones for incarcerated people to speak with the outside world. Sitting for an hour in this creepy environment caused my imagination much distress. When at last I was called by the fingerprint people, they were both visibly shaking. There was loud obscenities in the background. Apparently something adrenaline pumping had just gone on in the cells. They told me everything had gone wrong that day. They made obvious mistakes and printed out 5 or 6 cards with my fingerprints on it before they got the one they wanted. I can only wonder what must have happened just prior to my arrival in the locked facility. I am told I will not receive my permit until May.

Next, I began the first day of a five day class on "Bow Hunters Education". Why? Well, mostly for my kids. The oldest 3 are taking the class. I figured it would be something we could do together. They have all already read their books and filled out their questions in the back. They answered intelligent answers in class. My son "Art Dog" was even likened to a surgeon with his specific placement of a buck's liver. I feel a bit intimidated (by my own children)! Because of this, I am forced to study. Perhaps I, too can be a capable, mature, responsible archer. Time will only tell. As we all went around the room discussing why we wanted to be bow hunters I felt the strange unruly desire to tell them that I wanted to be like the elf guy on "Lord of the Rings". I resisted this urge as I got a warning look from my children. Pray I can pull this off and keep my imagination in check.

my baby can drag herself to food.....

Everybody's babies can do cool things. Some can crawl fast. Some can stand and take steps. What can my baby do? Well, she can drag herself to food at will. I am assured that she may be slightly developmentally restricted due to her extra rolls of pudge.

Fun Memories

Here are some fun memories from the week gone by - A walk with the boys on a wilderness exploration. Taking Catman to some "cheap entertainment" (mud puddles). My oldest son doing his school work picked up Moonbeam who was fussy. I love the difference in size from my oldest to youngest kids!

Working Mom Blues and the case of the diaper no one changed

Well, you guessed it, I'm at work again. Yep, two 12 hour shifts in a row. I wish I could say that I'm being productive, but since you are reading this, you may presume I am not. Really, I promise if a patient doesn't come soon I will watch an educational video, really I will.
Today when I got off from work, my husband arrived in a warm truck to drive me home (which takes over an hour). Moonbeam got a good meal and I was soon gone to the world. When I got home, I handed the sock fashion expert the baby and hit the shower. Later, after I woke up, I came to discover Moonbeam playing with my hair. Something putrid was wafting to my nostrils. Upon further investigation, I was horrified to discover that the muffin had not been changed since the night prior. My husband thought I changed her when he picked me up. My daughter thought someone else did it. I was too sleepy to really think about it. Oh, I felt terrible. She didn't seem to mind much. Before I could get the baby wipes, she had flipped over and was trying to squirm toward a toy with messy bottom in the air. No diaper rash - whew! A mom never knows what horrors she will unearth after returning home from work.
I have been quite distraught. Dr. Toast ambled through with good coffee beans yesterday (and even half and half). He said "here's some good coffee" as he held it in the air, well aware of the extatic shouts of joy that would erupt around him). Later on, I sauntered into the kitchenette to brew the joe only to discover that it had gone AWOL!!! No one knew what happened to it. I searched high and low and even harassed co-workers. No one knows what happened to it. Again, tonight I searched in vain for the beloved beans. Again I am drinking what has been described as the "dregs" of the coffee of the planet. Do not pity me, I must carry this cross until morning. My mind plays tricks on me. I feel suspicious of "the other side" workers. Perhaps one of them fiendishly apprehended the good beans. Oh for the travesty, the terrible horrible dastardly deed. I must not be suspicious. I must hold myself together. Perhaps a spot of tea would do me better.
Well, my educational video is calling my name. It sounds a lot like wisdom calling me a kinds woman and understanding sticking to my fingers like goo. I'm one of those simple passers by and it is calling out saying "outdoor mom, watch the video, you are being paid to be here (not blog)." If you happen to read this before 6am, pray I will not randomly hurl myself at suspicious looking joe thieves. Thank you!

wanna see live mtn lion pics taken today?

cool lion pics taken today by my son.

frolicking feathers

Today has been quite an interesting day. I officially ended my 2 month white sugar fast. I lost a total of 12 lbs and gained back old jeans I haven't worn for a long time not to mention spiritual growth.
Our girls weight loss/accountability group converged and chose to celebrate my victory with homemade brownies, ice cream, and homemade Carmel sauce. I awarded our hostess, Silverbell, with some good smelling bath and body lotion and a trashy white feathered "Fredrick's of Hollywood" get up. I had scored this gem at the Salvation Army just this past month for $4. I assured her that I had washed and dried it before giving it to her as a gift. I also confided to her I had worn it once, (but not for very long). This erupted a chortle of giggles and no end to conversation pieces which I am not at liberty to discuss. All in all, our meeting was a great success and we all received prayer and encouragement from one another. Our favorite Bible verse gravitated toward "the marriage bed being undefiled". We also read the first chapter of "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldham (which I recommend hands down)!
My husband is prospering greatly with his newly acquired hobby of re-selling ammo. I am very proud of his endeavors. I can never say too many good things about him. He's got a knack for investing well.
Tonight I am working again, hence my 3am post. My buzz of frothy lattes and Carmel brownies is readily wearing down as I type, but the memory lives on. I'm ashamed to admit that I visited the candy machine here to boot. Oh the carnal nature, ever gripping at my abs. When I called earlier, I could hear Moonbeam screeching and laughing loudly. I'm afraid she may have been feeling "the breast milk buzz" from my morning festivities.
Yesterday I almost got into a fight with a waitress and a grocery store clerk. I will spare you the details of my frustrations. Sufficient to say that I was able to hold my tongue and my temper for the most part. Something loudly reminded me that it didn't matter if I was being wronged. These women needed their jobs more than I needed to be right. I have the odd, giddy feeling that God is indeed getting through to me at times. Perhaps it is my newly acquired sugar buzz.

A Proud Reader (and happy mom)

Catman showing off his newly acquired reading prowess.

Terrible, Horrible, Deceptive - Wha ha ha ha

I have wanted to buy this book for quite some time. I happened to come across it at Ross on Monday and couldn't resist its purchase. The idea is the same, except more elaborate. Often times, I use my mini chopper to pulverize things that are good which my children refuse to eat. I hide it in foods they like (much to their horror). When my daughter discovered this diabolical book, she sat on the couch, shook her head (possibly in fear) and kept saying "it won't work". She's afraid, very afraid of the endless possibilities.............

You too may be interested in tormenting your kids with these unthinkable, conniving deeds. Here it is at Amazon.

Make My Day Kid

Here is a larger photo of Roberta saying "Make My Day Kid!"

Still Trying

This is what i have to put up with when i try and get the kids to pose for a picture!!!

All in a Days Work

Yesterday, i decided it was time to take the children's pictures again. I promised my 6 year old, "Catman", that he could use his knife and BB gun for props in an attempt to lure him into a good shot. These are not quite the photos I had in mind. "Roberta", one of the locals (who happens to be a deer), has a cynical look on her face. She seems to be saying "take your best shot kid!" As you can see, she was not alarmed in the least bit and refused to leave our yard for the photo shots. **************************************************************************** It occurred to me that my readers may enjoy hearing about the activities covered during a day in my life. Here goes : It's morning, I'm already "behind the 8 ball". My husband has crept out of bed while I was snoring and has already corrected the children's math and started reviewing a lesson with an early bird child. I am about to launch out of bed to begin the day, but the baby senses I am awake and has declared her hunger in no uncertain terms. After providing breakfast for the youngest member of our home, I spring into the kitchen fuzzily. I cook my husband eggs and hash browns (because he wants that every morning)! I set out something to try and "prep" for future meals, but have to start devotions with the family so I can't finish. I read a "Sparkling Gem" from our Rick Renner devotional to the family. I try to encourage the kids to love God, to move in the Gifts of the Spirit, and to stop making farting noises while we are eating. I have not eaten because I was in too much of a hurry, though I have probably provided for the lust of my flesh with a cup of joe. After heartfelt prayer by us all, I move on to a dictionary to challenge the children with spelling words. My 6 year old is in a comatose state on the floor with a blanket. I have bugged all the kids to get out of bed for devotions and they are still waking up. I am aware my husband wants to finish math with the kids and move on with his day so I am trying to hurry them along. I may or may not remember to get some breakfast. I am starting the dryer for the 3rd time because it has to run 2-3 times to get a load dry. I am doing meal preps. I am having my own personal devotion time with God where I have been doing scripture confessions, prayer, reading chapters of a book on how to be a better wife. I agree with some of it wholeheartedly, the other half I despise. I keep forcing myself to read it because I believe there is something to gain from being challenged. The baby is awake, wet and having a bad hair day. My 6 year old is running around the house no longer doing math with his dad. I tell him to get some readers. I am half having a devotions of my own, half nursing a wet baby, and half reading primers with my 6 year old. I remember that I need to call some business regarding some err or something. Someone is asking me why I haven't gotten something done. The hospital calls and asks me to work a day later in the week. All of this has happened before lunch time. My teenager doesn't understand why I am sending him to town to get a photo ID. I re-explain why he needs to make progress toward taking his GED (for the 50th time). He can't take any of the test sections without a photo ID. He can't find his expired permit, which is no good anyway. He would rather be out in the forest hiking and predator calling. Moms are such a drag! I know he loves me because he thanks me again for home schooling him. I feel humbled. My oldest daughter is complaining because I have once again assigned her some type of research report. She thinks this stinks! Why haven't I gotten her jeans washed? She disappears into her bedroom quietly. She has learned that if she is frustrated she would rather disappear than saying something she will regret later. She emerges later and watches the baby so I can get out for a walk. I'm humbled by her change in attitude and how much I depend on her help for my own sanity. My next son, who is 11, has picked up the baby multiple times and handed her to me "to do something with" because she was squawking while I was on the phone or cooking or whatever it is that I am doing. He disappears into his room where I hear him fooling around with my 6 year old. I yell at my 6 year old to get back to the table and get his phonics book started. I ask my 11 year old how much work he has gotten done so far. He reminds me that he was helping with the baby. He always has a smile on his face. He is full of fun and love and imagination. He tries hard to get his work done, but is easily distracted by the chaos going on around him. He trudges down to the basement to try and work in undistracted silence. I am again humbled by his always trying to do the right thing. I assign every one thier daily chores while they are still around. Experience tells me that if I don't, they are off and busy the rest of the day doing other things. There is a chorus of groans. It is now 11:30 and I am on the verge of being "behind the 8 ball" again where lunch is concerned. The family is also concerned "when's lunch?" they all begin to echo......... Since you may be feeling my exhaustion, I will continue this saga after you have had ample time to destress.

i shopped, i conquered

As you may be aware, yesterday I went shopping with some other females from our area. It was our "accountability group field trip" if you will. We had a good day. At 5:30 am, my friends Hazel (and her youngest 2 kids) and Mist (and her dog Trotty) hiked up our hill. My daughter, the sock fashion expert, babysat for the three year old who I will call "Nellie". Hazel and I took our babies along with us, and Mist took Trottie. We began the three and a half hour trek to a large far away city.
While we were gone, Nellie had a wonderful day of playing, eating and having a three hour nap. I was happy to hear the three year old consumed 3 waffles, a bowl of strawberries, a bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, a sandwich, a helping of breakfast bake, an apple, half a piece of cake and a cookie. This pleased me considerably. She also went sledding, played Barbies and did a host of other activities with my daughter.
I began to get concerned when the girls and I had spent an hour and a half in the store "Ross", (and it was our first stop). None of us gets out much and the idea of being inside of a discount store without a man sitting in the car waiting was just to much for us. After that, we power shopped at Target, Borders, TJ Max, the Mall, A health food store, Wal Mart, Salvation Army and ending the parade at Costco.
It was uneventful other than an unusually loud checker at Salvation Army feeling the need to call the manager several times while were in line (and that same man misplacing the item I was intending to purchase)!
Before heading home, we dined at "Hu Hot" a Mongolian grill where you select your own food and watch men spinning spatulas while they cook your food. We all ate way too much!! Trottie did surprisingly well in the car other than a suspicious wet spot on my jacket (which may have been snow).
I was quite troubled, however, at my sense of fashion and what looks good on people. It seems I had quite a different opinion of what looks good on all of us. I was puzzled until my husband explained it to me (then I was shocked and horrified). He reminded me that I am at least 10 years older than them and that it would be like my mother giving me advice on what to wear. He reminded me that my generation does not hold to the same ideas of style and of how things should be worn. I am once again reminded that my 20's are far removed. Oh well, maybe they can teach this "old dog" some new tricks ;-)
I am also pleased to report that I am once again able to fit into my pre pregnancy clothes and am sustaining my pre pregnancy weight with 1 week to go on my 2 month sugar fast.

My Girls

Here's some recent pics of my girls. I found this old "Johnny Jump Up" at a second hand store for Moonbeam. My daughter "The Sock Fashion Expert" recently donated her hair to "Locks of Love", an organization for making wigs for children with cancer.

Being Virtuous Without Chickens

I frustrate myself to no end! Of course everybody is talking about the economy. "Blah blah blah economy" Everybody wants to talk about it. Everybody has ideas about what the future might hold. Most everybody likes to speculate. Well, that's where the chickens came in (or maybe they didn't).
I got to thinking that perhaps I should try having chickens. This foreign idea of chickens began to haunt me. Every time I thought about what I could do to be better prepared the idea of "chickens" came into mind. I began to wonder "is God telling me to buy chickens?" Soon I started voicing my thoughts. "That's it! One woman said "I'm buying chickens and maybe a cow too!" It seems like everybody (around me) is doing something virtuous. Somebody is growing chickens. Others have big gardens. These virtuous and ambitious attributes seem to be following many of my friends. I would be going right along with them except for one problem......
The problem (or maybe the solution) is my husband. Today we went for a walk. I told him again that I was thinking about chickens. He tried to conceal a smile. I rehearsed my idea of growing chickens. It sounded painfully familiar. Just like the time I approached him with Goats, a cow, horses and a dog. None of those ideas flew. He reminded me that chickens tie people down. He reminded me about how busy I am. He reminded me of all the reasons that I really don't want chickens. Then he reminded me that I am virtuous without chickens. He reminded me that I have a good career where I can go away for a night once every so often and bring home a good income. He said that that was better than chickens. I guess he's right. He always seems to be the voice of reason in my life.
Today on my way to work I continued to contemplate chickens. I still felt in a way like I was being left out. Everybody gets to have chickens except me. Everybody has big gardens. They all know how to make them grow. I try to garden every year and fail miserably. Many times my husband reminded me that I am still virtuous.
Today when I got to work the nurse who reported off to me handed me a badge that said "charge nurse". I looked it as if it might bite me. A lump formed in my throat and I wondered "what person in their right mind would want me for the hospital supervisor tonight?". I worked like crazy taking care of many different patients with many different needs. I identified serious problems. I made good decisions. After a few hours I realized (once again) that I actually do do a good job. I remembered that I am, indeed virtuous.
At a glance, It may look as though I am ranting without purpose, however this is not the case. The truth is, I'm a lousy gardener. My goldfish need a psychologist to put up with me. I am much too busy to give chickens the care they need. The virtuous woman doesn't neglect her duties by taking on new tasks she can't handle. Maybe you've been there. Maybe you're a little jealous like me. Maybe you too have been coveting chickens. Well, just remember that you have special gifts all your own. Nobody else can do what you can do. Every woman should embrace her individuality and bloom in the gifts God has given her. Next time the women are talking chickens I will probably pout for a short bit but then I will smile because I know my husband thinks I'm virtuous anyway.