Saphira's Week of Fun

My Crazy Upside Down Manger Kinda Christmas (Written in Dec 2015)

My sister has 2 wild red headed boys. They are the cutest, most rambunctious redheaded boys that I have ever known. They are also so hilarious that you can't possibly get mad at any of their antics. The oldest one, Dinomania, is about 4. He is very cantankerous and does not like to be touched at all. Don't try to hug or kiss him and especially, particularly, don't hang him upside down by his ankles to see what he will do. The other one, Bob, is about 2. He has glasses and a perpetual smile. He snuggles and screams and snuggles some more. They never use inside voices to express their needs, nor could you ever accuse one of them of being monotone. Every thing they say is full of energy and excitement. Every little bit of them inspires me and I could hardly keep from following them around to take pictures, much to the elder's protest.

The very first thing they did at my mom and dad's house was to dawn crazy looking hats. Next, it was tutus, which they wore the majority of the days to follow. Bob drew on the bedding with a pen that was left out. Dinomania poked holes in the attic ceiling. Super Catman ran into one of the closet doors at full speed and left a permanent indention. The house was not without some evidence of our all having been there. Despite the mayhem, my very particular and borderline OCD orderly and cleanly mother made great strides in adjusting. My grandson, The Big Y, was also among those who left their mark. Namely, bananna peels and other food items where one would least suspect finding it.

My sister was Val Dictorian of our school, while at one time I was a temporary high school drop out. She was embroidering beads on her daughters socks, while I wildly came up with a couple of odd ones to dawn my discheveled child in. Her girls are in violin and other respectable activities. My boys run about wild, and hunt animals. Saphira, all dreads, ambles around the city her college is in, dawned in cammo with a "Don't Tread on Me" MT flag painted on the back of her multicolored car. My sister's oldest daughter, Cardel, has all her toys and books alphabetized. My son, catman, must climb over a pile of dirty laundry and M.I.A. items when he rolls out of bed. This is just how we all roll. For the most part, she and her world is well organized and mine isn't. Watching her wild boys, though, sheds a little light in the organized darkness that we may not be quite so far apart after all. This particular visit, I worked on teaching her older girls how to play poker. She worked days on an elaborate gingerbread house with Miss Moonbeam. That seemed fit.

I should back up about 6 months, because then, my plans were to spend the holiday on a beach somewhere off the Keyes. I had it all figured out, and then my mother in law wrote imploring all of us to go to Nebraska for Christmas and visit her mother, who had been placed on hospice. I had a million reasons why a trip to Nebraska at Christmas was less than favorable. Namely, a hot sand beach in the Keyes with all my kids and grandbaby. I also have a lot of personal phobias which I must work on when I am at the mercy of staying with relatives. Then Archer decided that he needed to go see his great grandmother, and Saphira just wanted to come home for their break. Both, as written before, are in Nursing School out East where much of our family lives.

Many days, I battled with the desire to be on a beach at Christmas and my husband was more and more inclined to go see his grandmother. Of course seeing his grandmotherwas the right thing to do, and so we went ahead and planned the momentous trip. I had several panic attacks considering driving from Montana to Minnesota, then to Nebraska and then back to Montana. The last time we did a trip like that, I threatened to mace my husband. Yes, i certianly did. My bladder, near exploding, was wrecking havoc on my mind and my stubborn husband wouldn't pull over. After pleading and yelling and crying and becoming hyserical, I resorted to my can of mace. Imagine, if you will, my mostly very calm and amiable husband yelling "how reasonable is it to mace the driver as you are riding down the interstate?!?!" "Kids, is this reasonable?!?!" When he starts the reasonable thing, that pushes me further into my infurno temper. I just shudder at that memory, particularly because its one of the things that triggers anxiety about the trip.

The first leg of the journey was fairly stable with the exception of our load. We were hauling many bags, bulk Costco foods, a German Shepherd in a kennel, a stack of live wreaths I'd made and a hog. Well the hog was frozen in packages, our plan for a gift to give our parents, kids and my sister. It was an odd load, this was an odd trip.

I'd skied hard the day before and my whole body was screaming with stiff, sore, cramped up muscles. I twised in and out of every imaginable position trying to get relief. Surprisingly, my husband let me drive the whole day part of the 22 hour drive. He was tired and he slept alot. When he began critiquiing my driving, I could tell it was time to get back into the passanger seat. Somehow, I was able to get to a bathroom whenever I needed one and, never came close to a macing encounter. I was, however, troubled that I had found my mace in the pocket of the vest I was wearing and hoped hard I wouldn't feel tempted. All in all, we made it to MN and pulled into my sisters pad around midnight. She was thrilled to see us!!

I was relieved she wasn't the least bit disturbed about me banging on the door at midnight. She texted Saphira and 20 minutes later, my cammo clad redheaded dreadlocked girl stealthed out of the shadows to celebrate our arrival. It was a very joyous event.

The next day we played with my Sisters kids, went on a long hike with Archer and his wife and baby and went to see Saphira's pad. She stays with a wonderful older Christian couple in their beautiful home. I absoulutely love them and hit it off so well with the wife, Llona. She's a powerful prayer warrior and a force to be reckoned with. If you need prayer for anything, she's the woman for the job. If you need counsel, comfort or wisdom, check. It doesn't take long to pull the fire right out of her. I just oozed thankfulness that this is where Saphira would chose to stay. She's got another mother away from home and home to live in bathed in constant prayer.

After that, we spent a few days with my inlaws. That was pretty uneventful and I was mostly okay with the exception of a few panic attacks and anxiety about the next leg of journey..... Along the way, my girls group had been praying, as had Llona, as had my mom, as had my girlfriend and any one else I could recruit.

My mom's home, I already mostly described. It was a lot of fun filled chaos. I purchased a very large container of chocolate covered almonds and an equally large bottle of merlot. That fixed most melt downs among the female folk, along with daily runs, I was feeling pretty good. I even pushed the limits of my artistic ability and crocheted with my sister. Though crocheting and other crafts creep me out, I successfully made a headband and we took a picture to commerate the mile post event. When I looked at the picture something very shocking could be noted. I looked again and gasped loudly. Then I looked again. Then I looked at my sister. I told her to look at the picture. Both of us were equally shocked. All these years had gone by and we were to discover that we had the same color eyes. All our lives we thought we didn't look anything like each other. Now at last, shocking as it would seem, here we were with the exact same eyes!! Even my mother didn't believe us. I had to make her look and look. Another shocking discovery took place. We were to discover we had HER eyes!! All the exact same color. All the same eyes, all slightly neurotic/ocd. What wonderful Christmas to find out we were all a lot more alike then we thought....... When my sister went back home, I missed her alot. I missed her wild redheaded boys. I missed her seriously smart girls. I was glad we'd had the time together

On the morning I woke up and bolted to the shower I did not feel any panic at all. We were leaving on the great Nebraska adventure. We were going to drive 12 hours with Archer, Big Y, AliCat, all our kids including Saphira and also my inlaws. It would be a 3 car caravan. We had a place to stay the first few days, but seeing my husband's other grandparents was sketchy.  I remembered that it was Jesus's mother Mary and Joseph who had no place to stay on Christmas. They had to trust God for a place to birth a baby and of course they would have to trust God for food too. Here we were, travelling with our very pregnant AliCat, my entire family and it would be Christmas and we would have a similar manger scene story. I realized, slowly, that it was going to be a God ordained thing. I broached the idea of a motel multiple times with my husband who didn't want to hear of such a thing. It was just going to be one of those things that he wouldn't let me figure out. I was going to have to use my faith and embrace the Christmas travelling nomad feeling.

****************************************************************



writing seems to be a bit scattered and haphazzard these days. I always seem to be drowning in about a million things to do, and later find myself snoreing loudly, passed out on my bed with many things still awaiting me when morning rolls around. Writing gets swept under the bed, in the odd sock bin or maybe a drawer stuffed full as company arrives........

      In the end, we spent a good week there and it all worked out how it was supposed to. The majority of the time we slept in a motorhome. The heat and lights didn't work, so we used flash lights and a space heater. One little space heater really didn't do much, so we used a lot of blankets. It wasn't exactly what I'd envisioned for Christmas break. God gave me a lot of grace and I remembered that nobody had room for Jesus either. Strange as it seems, everybody has big piles of food for family and friends. Most people are warm and comfortable. Nobody thinks about spending Christmas in a manger for real. They give each other gifts. Everybody gains weight over eating. People plan to consume a lot of alcohol to deal with the pressure of seeing family and overspending. Nobody says "hey, I think I'll go sleep in a manger for a few days during the holidays". "I'd like to be a traveller in a distant land". Nope.

So in saying all that, I learned what it was like to travel with my very pregnant daughter in law, who is the sweetest thing ever. I enjoyed my grandbaby "Big Y". I slept in an almost manger situation. I visited with a lot of long lost cousins. I learned more about humanity and humility. All in all, there were a lot of good lessons to be learned.

It was a very sad day when Archer and Ali Cat headed back to Minnesota with my inlaws and Saphira and the rest of us headed back to Montana. We would miss them a lot. Saphira had big plans about the last week and a half of her vacation. She was ready for Montana!!

That first week, I was near exhaustion. We'd spent 26 hours driving home and couldn't get the truck all the way back. Matthew came and got us around 3am. Getting towed into the Yaak was kind of an odd way of making a homecoming. We had boxes and suitcases and presents and disaster all over the place when Elasta Woman called and asked if we all wanted to go skiing. Of course we said "Yes!!" and abandoned everything to get back out to our wilderness home. Day after day we did all kinds of activities. One day we snowshoed up a mountain and snowboarded down. Another day Saphira got some of the kids out winter camping. We had a big sledding party. Over New Years, we had a blast watching fireworks and hanging out with friends. We even had a little excursion to some hot springs a few hours away. It was a daily adventure until Saphira boarded the train back for college.

Girls with Guns Don't Always Shoot Big Bucks (from Nov 2015)

Hunting with My Husband Last Day of the Season

    I decided I was long overdue for a new blog post. I smiled as I heard Miss Moonbeam playing in the bath tub. She'd accepted the bathwater bribe and I had a good half hour or more of peace. The boys were outside doing I don't know what, but probably best left ignorant because right now I am writing and not shouting about at them.

Hunting season came and went in a blur, but seemed a bit of an agony. Day after day, I carefully planned out my wardrobe. At all times, I tried to keep track of my favorite and lucky "Girls With Guns" long sleever which mostly seemed to be in the laundry or lost. Far back in the reasonings of my mind, I had this permanent vision of posing with a monstrous buck wearing it. Of course I would be featured on the "Girls With Guns" blog. Why this was the cornerstone of planning my hunt, I do not know. I just couldn't seem to get the idea out of my head. As hunt after hunt progressed, it became more apparent that getting a photo worthy buck was going to be more difficult than just "doing my time". That and I depended more heavily on the "Woolrich" wool sweater I'd found for $4 at a thrift store. Day after day, I trudged wearily through the snow, drove miles and agonized at missed shots when my monster seemed to always elude me. My very patient husband was present for many of these long days. Even Art Dog went out with me once. To no avail, my timing seemed impeccabale for missing them altogether.

Meanwhile a heated competition emerged between Catman and Elastawoman's eldest daughter, last known as "chicks who try to drown people". She's grown up into a beautiful young lady now, so I'm renaming her LynnA . LynnA passed up bucks left and right because she would not be outshot by Catman. Of course Catman was doing the very same thing. Catman DID NOT want to be out shot by a girl!! Art Dog was taking Catman out almost daily and he wasn't getting much either because he spent all of his time helping Catman locate bucks.

ArtDog totalled his 4-Runner on icy roads this year, thank God he walked away from it. He borrowed a "Yaak Truck" that is to say, one not totally roadworthy of going to town, my husband's black beast. For some reason, wherever they went, they seemed to terrorize out of state hunters. This was completely unintentional on their part, but after a while, because of all the strange predicaments they found themselves in, we just laughed. On one occasion, ArtDog pulled up behind a Washington hunting rig. A dejected out of stater marched toward them with shoulders slumped, dragging his feet along. He was mourning the fact that he'd somehow lost a spike that he shot at. On and on as he bellowed, the boys watched a 4x4 buck prance along behind him. The man never turned around and the boys kept a stiff upper lip. After the man drove away, ArtDog mouthed to Catman "SHOOT!!" Catman took the shot and missed.........twice. He was sure his gun was not sighted in right ;-) All in all Catman did bag a nice 3x3. Embarrassingly, the last week of the season, I took a forked horn that LynnA passed up. I had no camera and didn't want pictures anyway, consequently, I was wearing my girls with guns shirt. Artdog got a decent 4x4 which he had to bone out up high, so he never got any pictures. The idea of us posing together with heads seems kind of barbaric and I just haven't brought myself to doing it.

The day before the last day of the season, my dear husband had a rare day where he got to go out by himself. He had pushed back shop work and took off for well deserved day of hunt. I went over to Mist's for her little boy's birthday party. While I was there, LynnA announced to me that she'd seen him on the road with a big 5x7!! I scarfed down her amazing lemon cake and rushed home to find the monstrous brute in the back of his truck. Oh happy day!! After the long season without much harvesting, the last week seemed to find us all with some horns and meat to process.

************************************************************************

Thanksgiving was another story altogether. I had to work a long 12 hr night shift that night before the big day. My husband had sent me in over an hour early on running errands for him. I wondered how I would manage through all the hoopla in a state of zombie like awareness. Emergency Departments are always emotionally taxing this time of the year, and many of the saddest cases I'ved worked happened over the holidays. In preparation for this emotional upset, I purchased bags of chips from a discount store, a case of candy bars, and a large container of Crappy Deli Chineese Food. Actually the candy bars and chips were for hunting snacks, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to be well prepared. Miss Belly Fat cackled with joy and anticipation of packing on extra fluff. I worried that I was giving her too much leway, but comfort food is comfort food - right?! Several slices of pumpkin pie and whipped cream awaited me there at work. By the time I'd gotten off of my shift, I thought that perhaps I would just roll out the door.

 

 

That morning Gracie, her husband, boys and parents all met me at the Turkey Trot. We ran like the wind, and I hoped that the breaking wind behind us would not catch up. Her family was all very proud of her and extremely supportive. It was a lot of fun running with her, and the one thing I could be proud of doing that day.

We arrived at a very somber Thanksgiving Dinner that night. Things hadn't gone well and everybody was sad and teary. People we were excited to see weren't there. I didn't know how to make things better, and I'd entered Zombie mode anyway. After stuffing myself full of jalapeno poppers and turkey, I settled into what probably resembled a low budget movie of what "Zomies At Thanksgiving Dinner" would look like. Mostly I laid on the floor and groaned out occasional replies to the dull conversation. More friends arrived, though I can't recall what exactly we talked about..........

girls trip to Symms Hot Springs

Fall Get Away Hiking Near Quinns Hot Springs

The Upside of Disorder's Backside

Community Party

"You are going to dance with me Daddy"

Feisty "Elf Like Warrior"

Crafty Kay and her little one dressed as Glenda and Dorthy

Shopping with Crafty Kay

 I seem to be getting into a lot of trouble lately and I'm not exactly sure why.......It may have started on a recent "girls day" trip to town involving Krafty Kay, Elasta Woman, her mama and all our little girls.  We embarked on this adventure quite early in the morning.  Elasta Woman had insisted on leaving no later than 7 am in the morning.  This would have been possible had it not been the day that I was supposed to be ovulating.  This delayed my ability to find something suitable to wear quite substantially and I ended up panicking, wearing nothing but underpants as they pulled in the drive way, surrounded by duds.  Actually, I was not wearing underpants as I'd been unable to locate a single pair - instead I had dawned a binkini bottom in my rush.  The girls marched into the house while I frantically pulled on my 6th and final ensemble. 
    After the long and mostly uneventful trip to Sandpoint, we lounged about Starbucks until our girls began reacting to the sugary cocoa.  It was quite apparent when it was time to make the exit.  I had to make a quick trip to a large farm type store to pick up some stuff for my husband.  Since the women had Miss Moonbeamer, I didn't want to be gone for long.  I had selected my wares in record time, when the racks on the way out the door pulled me in.  Just like a giant invisible vacuum, sporty type girls stuff just pulls me in.  Soon I was racing back into to the store with a handful of stuff to try on.  Nobody seemed to be monitoring the dressing rooms and they were locked.  Being pressed for time, and having on leggings, I took it upon myself to displace my skirt and start trying them on in front of the dressing room mirrors.  A store clerk showed up quite mortified, but did not ask me to leave the store.  There are a lot of girls running around in just leggings - right?
   Once we got the preliminaries out of the way, we began trying on clothing at a nearby thrift store and that's where the chaos really began.  5 or 6 of us were all crammed into a dressing room, laughing hysterically with literal piles of crumpled up clothes thrown in every direction.  I honestly couldn't even find what I'd originally brought in with me, but since we were all trying on each others items, it didn't really matter.
     Miss Moonbeam and Miss Elf Like Warrior were running back and forth from the clothing racks to the dressing rooms and they were having so much fun finding clothes that we just let them.  They had settled on some cheaply made matching dresses and we were having all we could do to convince them that the dresses were not a good buy.
    Just as I got out of the dressing room pit, laughing hysterically, I was pushing my cart toward footwear when I heard the little girls running and calling out to me loudly.  They were white and terrified and yelled "someone just tried to take us!!"  "he tried to trap us!!"  I had never seen such terror on their collective faces and the terror hit me like a ton of bricks.  What was I thinking?!  Why was I so stupid to let them go to the racks by themselves?  I said fearfully "who tried to take you?"  They pointed at a man a few feet away and said "Him!!"  A man abruptly turned around and started walking the other way.  Rage exploded in me and I lost the capacity to do anything but pursue him, still clutching my little girls hand.  I started yelling at him and he started walking faster.  Then I started walking faster.  Soon I was yelling louder.  Then he was running and I was running.  Right through Goodwill you could see me snarling like a bear as I wildly chased this would be pervert.  My very strange behavior attracted the attention of the entire store.  Workers came from every direction and cornered the man.  As it turned out he was mentally handicapped.  I felt a little sheepish, but I stood my ground.  Soon a worker came who was supposed to be responsible and profusely apologized.  He kept his head down and didn't say a word.  I looked around imaging the scene I had probably made getting back to my girlfriends who were standing there perplexed.  All of them were upset, but none of them fathomed that I was going to go bananas, turning into the incredible hulk and go chasing after him.   Elasta Woman decided that it was time for us to go out to eat.  The store was unusually quiet and I couldn't help the feeling that people were still in a state of shock and horror at my pursuit of a mentally disabled individual.  It was definitely time to exit stage left.  The mortified, pale faced worker came to apologize to me again for her client's behavior.  I hugged her and told her I forgave her and was sorry for the situation.
   The little girls continued to cling to me and I honestly don't know if it was an honest mistake or not, but it shook them up.  They wouldn't let me out of their grip as we entered the Mexican Restaurant.  It was a rather odd sighting , me dragging along two children clutching each of my arms.  We were not there long before I proceeded to spill a glass of water all over the table.  It was a delicious meal.  Once the kids began drinking complimentary salsa, I knew it was time to leave.  I exited into a bathroom to stuff my leggings into my purse.  The weather was getting nice and I wanted to really feel the breezy warmth. 
   We went walking down the street and wrecked havoc in a yarn store.  I spent an unsightly amount of money on the yarn both as a de-stressing technique and also because I couldn't bear to put any of it back and I had formed a large mountain on the side of the counter.  As we waited for the rest of the gang to make their purchases, the little girls and I walked along the sidewalks of down town Sandpoint.  I was in all my glory, coming out of a candy store with fine chocolates.  The girls were excited to try them and I was caught up in the moment of rushing to get to the rest of the group and the beautiful day.  I may have missed any unsaid cue by the drivers and passers by.  I was flouncing around in my new thrift store skirt and the warm breezy fall day felt glorious.  Apparently I was enjoying the walk too much to notice that my new skirt was some how stuck to the back of my underpants - er swim bottoms, and I was displaying my backside to all of Down Town Sandpoint.  The women began laughing hysterically as Crafty Kay made this discovery.  I tried to distract them with the fine chocolate, but it didn't work.  Well, being unable to locate anything but swim bottoms that morning turned out to be a good thing.  Next time you mourn your lack of organization, remember that sometimes disorder all works out better in the backside of things - that is The Upside of Disorder's Backside.
   
  

The infamous Cheap Material Dresses

My husband's self storage unit in Yaak goes up

Drinking Complimentary Salsa

Girls Shopping Day