What Is A Christian?

What is a Christian?

Carl was a quiet man. He worked hard all his life. He took good care of his family and kept to himself. Over the course of his life, he shied away from church. He said "it just wasn't for him". After drinking a beer one day in his basement, he bowed his head and acknowledged the Gift of God. Something supernatural happened and he started to slowly change, though he didn't mention it to anybody for quite some time.

Tina was a lonely wife. She felt isolated from her husband all too often. Though she knew God, she flirted with unhealthy relationships. Over time she began pursuing men in an unhealthy way and destroyed much of the peace in her family. After a while, she was too ashamed to go to church. She felt judged, but also used it as an excuse to fulfill her wrongful cravings. Her emotions often ruled her actions in an unhealthy manner. One day, she prayed, cried and asked God to forgive her. The next, she found herself with other men.

John received Jesus as a teenager. He was excited about church and evangelism for a time. As his high school years passed on, events caused him to begin hanging with the wrong crowd. A youthful spirit and the pride of life deceived him into pursuing that which looked appealing, but it's end, destruction. As more years passed he found himself addicted to alcohol and drugs. He still sensed God's presence, but he couldn't bring himself to shake his habits. They clung to him like a noose around his neck. Though he never quit believing, he felt too condemned to spend much time with people who he knew to be Believers.

Haily experienced an incredible experience. A leader in her ring of prostitutes, some one came and told her about Jesus. The encounter shook her very being and she prayed right there to receive Him. Excited, she told all her friends and associates. When she arrived at church that week, tears streaked down her face. She was so excited to be a part of something real. She found a seat right at the front of the church. She was ready to learn. That's when people around her began to whisper and stare. She swallowed with some apprehension, but having child like faith, she held her position, head up. Then an usher approached her piously. "You may not worship with us dressed in that attire. Please go home and change." Someone snickered. All eyes were on her. Suddenly the riveting love she had been high on seemed to dissipate. She felt the all familiar judgement and her old cynical nature told her she was a "sucker". "I'm never coming back here again" she whispered, almost blinded by the tears as she ran out the doors.


Gordon was a baby shaken at birth, though no one knew it. As he grew, it became apparent he would never function on his own. Despite his limited understanding, he could tie his shoes, count to five and preform very simple tasks. He lived in a group home until he suffered a stroke. After that, he lived in a nursing home. By then, he was even more a prisoner of his own body. He had to be fed, turned, changed and bathed. People had to dress him and lift him into a wheel chair where he stared blankly at the television much of the day. One day, as a nurse passed by, he felt the Presence of God. Though he couldn't express it, he felt something when she was around. She sometimes sang songs and when she did, he seemed to comprehend much more than he had before. With all that was within him, he reached for that supernatural force of love he sensed. One day she prayed for him and he felt something so wonderful happen. Despite the fact he was a prisoner in his own body, there was a friend there with him. He lived that last week much more peacefully.

Linda was a very religious woman. She was raised in church and attended the same congregation all her life. She always tithed and gave offerings. She had the pastor over monthly for Sunday dinner. Her husband was well known in the community and he served on the church board. Yes, Linda lived quite properly and looked down upon those outside her congregation. Linda was the first to spot Haily. She made it her business, to bring it to the attention of the usher that morning. She saw John one day in the grocery market buying beer. She recognized him. She approached him haughtily and with mock concern, pried for information which she later relayed to all her friends "to pray about". She also drove Tina away from the few women who tried to reach out to her. They were from another congregation she didn't approve of. Through manipulation and deceit she saw to it those women would not be recruiting Tina into their group. She also had a lot to say about John, though he was smart enough never to darken the doors of her church.

What Is A Christian?

The Cat Peed on My Carrots (A Good Excuse To Eat Chocolate)

Cat urine...... That's what drove me to blogging this afternoon. After a taxing morning of getting up early, shooting a 3x3 buck, canning peach apple sauce, helping to process my daughters buck and trying repeatedly to explain the difference between a subject and a predicate to Art Dog, I was ready to relax. That's when I found cat urine on my lovely garden carrots. Well, they really weren't from my garden. As you know, I am garden challenged. No, they were a gift from a friend. There were just a few left along with one beet from outer space. I had been hording them and bringing out just a few each day or two. Wouldn't you know it, when I went to retrieve some today, they sported that distinct ammonia cat smell?! With that loss, I decided to make some chocolate pudding with Super Catman.
I also wanted to say a few words about being resourceful. If you're anything like me, you approach the grocery store with a sense of foreboding along with a little anticipation. You want to save money, but everything healthy seems out of your reach. So you settle with bringing ramen noodles to work...again. This is not the way to sow into your health. Neither is buying a cheap -n- greasy burger in place of a nice salad. There are ways to being healthy, if you choose to do so. Money (or lack thereof) is really not an excuse. Believe me, I've lived on extremely limited budgets many times. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Here are some examples :

Venison : Its a very healthy, chemical free, lean and organic meat. I can hear it now "but I don't like venison". Well, I once didn't either. I did, however, discover that processing the meat ourselves made it much more edible (for real). When you are eating it yourself, you are picky about how you process it. I also add a little fresh garlic to each package frozen. I always know what's in the package - nothing but fresh well trimmed meat. Other lean meats we harvest include fish, grouse, bear and elk.

Berries : It took some work to go out in the forest and harvest huckleberries this past summer, but I'm glad they're in the freezer now. I spent an incredible amount of money last winter buying berries. We also traded labor for harvesting organic cherries. Its going to be nice not having to buy any frozen fruit this winter.

Sprouts : For pennies, you can sprout a healthy organic meal in your window. Yes, even the gardenly challenged can do this.

Making food from Scratch : I am domestically challenged, really. I didn't even know how to brown hamburger when I left home. Just recently, I learned how to make home made tortillas. Its incredibly easy. So is home made spaghetti sauce. I can't believe the money I used to spend on foods that I now make myself. When I make them, I know what is (or isn't) in them. It's safer, healthier and yes, cheaper.

Be an Opportunist: Sorry, I'm not saying "be a bum". I'm just saying watch for deals or opportunities to come. A month ago, somebody brought in all different colored peppers to the hospital nurses station. I had no idea what to do with them, but took some anyway. My friend later told me to freeze them whole. It was excess from a garden. Weeks later, somebody asked me if I wanted some tomatoes. I said "sure". I ended up with 2 peoples excess. All in all, it was three boxes full. Yesterday, I was terrified, but I tried making salsa with help from the kids. It turned out to be the best I've ever eaten (really). I didn't even follow a recipe. I just listened to advice from a couple of friends and used an online recipe for ingredient ideas and proportions. Turned out, those free peppers and tomatoes were just perfect for it.

Once you liberate yourself from normal grocery store shopping expectations, you will find a whole new world of eating cheaper and healthier than you ever thought possible. I think we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to shopping. We carry unrealistic expectations when it comes to spending money. We think it's our right to buy what we think we need. Rather than exploring new avenues, we stick to what's safe and familiar. The problem is, safe and familiar changed a long time ago. I wonder what kind of change YOU can make today :-) Maybe you can give me some new ideas to try :-)

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Photos above include : The boys hunting camp (on top a mountain). See the difference between that and the forest behind my house where I got the deer this morning? Also "the urinator perpetrator" and some canning I have been doing.

Plumpercot - A Friendly Gelatinous Alli

Plumpercot : A Friendly Gelatinous Alli
They're coming for me. I know they are. It all started with our Boocoo Billionaire Neighbor's chihuahua, "Walrus", being eaten by wolves, or so they thought. I know what really happened. It was most likely the plumperfruit aka pluots. They looked innocent and juicy. Upon further inspection, you will find that there is an ominous aura about them. The texture of the pluot aka plumperfruit is that of a fatty liver or maybe red jello. I suspected as I bit into the sweet gelatinous fruit that it may be "bugged with a microchip" that would float to my brain. This was all a part of the alien plumpercot's diabolical scheme to take over the world. Then as I continued to slice them, one held up a white flag of surrender, or was that a "certified organic" sticker?
At any rate, my mind was beginning to drift from the task at hand. I had peeled, cut, canned and froze scores of apples, peaches and yes, plumpercots this morning and I was perhaps becoming incoherent with exhaustion. Even the peaches seemed eerie. They weren't the yellow color I was accustomed to. Instead, these were something called "White Snow Peaches". They are either off white and crispy or soft and brown. That's another story, for another day, though. Perhaps it was best for me to break before I lost all sense of reason.
Really, our story began yesterday. It was too rainy to get much hunting done and so my husband determined to take us to town instead. Driven, the two older boys headed up the mountain in the rain, undaunted. As for me, I was craving junk food and town was the only place that was going to happen. With chips in mind, I happily abandoned my post at the cutting board and deserted the fruit crying out to be processed.
As we arrived at expensivemart, I went off looking for canning jars. My husband placed 3 - 12 packs of soda into the shopping cart. Disgusted, my heart sank. "I wish he wouldn't buy that stuff", I thought to myself. Then I saw the chips, making a mental note that it was only fair to add them to the cart of carbs. We found a few other items and headed to the check out in a hurry. We had ordered pizza ahead. The lady at the check out informed us that this wasn't the pop on sale. Suddenly, I got really angry. There it was in the flier. What did she mean it wasn't on sale? The soda I didn't want minutes ago, became something I was ready to argue over. If my husband wanted this soda on sale, then by golly he was going to get it! "Calm down" he whispered. "Ahhh, people have been doing this all day", the lady mumbled. "Its on the end cap with a sale price" my husband spoke softly. "Yeah, I know, but it's not supposed to be". Then he showed her the soda in the flier. She continued "people have been doing this all day". I began to question the IQ of the checker, but my husband gave me the look. I shut my mouth. After a solemn silence, she gave him the sales price.
Later that day in the grocery store, we began stocking up on sugary cereal, snack crackers, fun flavored yogurt and other things we don't usually buy. I got my canning jars. My husband got his extra soft toilet paper. As we walked by the brachs chocolates, I felt compelled to sample one (just in case I ever want to buy some). Then I decided I needed chocolate. When my husband was looking the other direction, I snuck 4 candy bars behind a large box of canning jars. I continued to innocently chat with the checker. This lady seemed nice. As my husband stacked more stuff on the conveyor belt, he spied the candy bars. I got a surprised and disapproving look. I felt guilty. I began to feel like a canning jar under pressure. It wasn't him, it was more the Big Guy upstairs, kind of conviction. I put the candy bars back. I knew I didn't need them.
Later on, at home, I looked at the boxes of canning jars, while eating a handful of chips. I knew there was no excuse. I needed to get the fruit processed. Ever since I caught a glimpse of this scary movie years ago, I have had an aversion to canning. You may have seen it. This homeless guy gets hired to be a "hunting guide". He gets flown out into the middle of no where. He later discovers a room in the cabin with men's heads preserved in jars. He's really the subject of the hunt! Oh scary! Anyway, ever since then, I have had an aversion to canning. It just seems kind of creepy.
Anyway, I did, indeed process a score of fruit today, no men's heads to be found. At no time during my work did I find any aliens or microchips. They also did not, I repeat, did not try to eat our cat. I suppose you could say that the plumpercots are about the healthiest thing I have going right now, what with the chips, soda and such. Plumpercots are, after all, a friendly gelatinous Alli.
Pictured above are my son, Art dog with his bear. Also my daughter, Sock Fashion Expert with her 5x7 buck. We'll be processing her buck this week and I am quite sure I can spin a tale or two about that as well.

Perfectly Peachy, My Place is Polluted with Pluots!

As the clock ticked by, I began to twiddle my thumbs. There's only so much a body can do when she's in between patients at work. I decided to call home and check on the kids.....again. This time there was some interesting news. The food shelf was again bringing in a refrigerator truck full of fresh produce. They were looking for orders with the hopes of again paying for the transportation. This time it was a funny thing called "pluot" along with some other fruit and veggies. God has this way of sending me other worldly produce. He must have gotten a sufficient laugh at my exploits involving beets. I can see it now. He elbows Gabriel snickering and says "watch this". Then the host of heaven section assigned to look after me begin giggling at the prospect of this domestically challenged female learning about how to go about processing a thing called "pluots".
Armed with the idea that produce would be arriving that Friday, I processed yet another case of apples. This time we made plum apple sauce and canned it. It was a busy day and we were tuckered when the last of the jars had been water bathed. My daughter has been pretty motivated to help me. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's really excited about me taking her to a concert in a far away city. We're also going to go shopping and bring along some friends. It will be a totally girly experience. Possibly excitement or appreciation or maybe even an angel appearance has prompted her to get her elbows dirty with me and it's been much appreciated.
Then the call came...... Would we be willing to help unload the refrigerator truck? Of course we would. I have the corner on able bodied young men in the area. Long story short, we arrived to see cases upon cases of peaches, pluots, potatoes and yams. We all jumped in and started stacking boxes. Everybody there was so excited. Nobody buys plentiful cases of certified organic produce these days. Most of us ration them out one by one. What a blessing. When it was all unloaded I was almost overwhelmed. Ok, I was overwhelmed. This blessing would change the entire community. There was surely enough here for everybody to have plenty. What a privilege to be a small part of such a big blessing!
Later on at home, as I began sorting through the fruit, I quickly became overwhelmed again. How would I get it all processed? I stuffed as many trays of fruit in the refrigerator as possible. I weeded out moldy fruit. I sorted soft fruit into bowls to be processed quickly. Notice I spelled "bowl" right this time everybody? I bet you are all relieved ;-) Then something traumatic happened. As I unearthed a pluot from it's plastic resting cup, I detected movement. Suddenly creepy beetle type bugs crawled around quickly in the cupped plastic. I screamed loudly dropping the fruit and backed away. These were no ordinary creepy bugs. They had pincers on front and back. They looked like little crabs or something. Oh they were really scary. They had burrowed their way into the fruit. They gave me the heebie jeebies. The boys took them outside reporting to me that they were quite aggressive and getting one in your mouth would not be a pleasant experience. Thankfully, after sorting through multiple cases, that was the only infestation I found other than occasional pretty colored mold and one lady bug. I could deal with that.
Exhausted from the day's activities I collapsed on my bed with the telephone to consult with my friend. After I came out, this is what I found. Isn't she incredible?! Anybody have any favorite peach or plout recipes? God is Good and I am AGAIN grateful for all His Blessings. My cup runneth over :-)

Obedience and My Daughter is Theodore Roosevelt

This morning, I leaped out of bed and hurdled my way into the kitchen. It was our girls devotional group today, and I wanted to get school done with the kids. I multi-tasked cutting up vegetables on the counter as Moonbeam splashed happily in her bath water in the kitchen sink. Eyeing the clock, I continued to multitask my way through the morning.
As I sat down with my morning coffee, I encouraged Super Catman to start reading, pronto. I listen to Super Catman read to me every school day. To me, reading is the most critical skill a child can learn at this age and I almost never miss. As I savored my brew, I experienced a short lived bit of tranquility. Super Catman began flicking his his book, consequently creating a loud thumping sound. "Stop that" I said gently holding his hand away from the pages. Defiance on his impish little face surfaced and he began flicking it with the other hand. Time stopped. Then I encouraged him to keep on reading, not wanting to take the time to deal with the little act of disobedience that had surfaced itself. As he continued to read, I began to feel more and more convicted. By the end of the page, I knew that I needed to call him on the flicking. I looked at the clock. Then I ignored it. We talked about disobedience. I gave him a choice of discipline. He chose a day without "Tom and Jerry", his favorite cartoon. We went on to read his devotional together. I was surprised to see it contained this Bible verse :
"Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents as believers in the Lord. Obey them because it's the right thing to do."
I realized that I had done the right thing.
After I had carried all my stuff out to the car I decided to stop and pray. I hadn't made time for that. It's a little silly to be running off to a devotional group and not have spent any time in prayer. The verse I had read with Super Catman weighed heavily on my heart. I decided to share it.
Later on that day, with the gals, I started by sharing about how little acts of disobedience lead to bigger ones. Children who don't learn to obey sooner suffer many hardships now and later on in life. I read the verse Super Catman and I had read together. Then I read a chapter from a devotional that we've been reading. I was shocked to find that the Bible verse we would read was this one!
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
I was pretty sure we were on to something that God wanted us to hear. As we discussed our prayer requests, one of my friends shared that she was feeling a little distanced in her relationship with God. She hadn't made time to pray or read her Bible regularly. She was feeling kind of down. She felt frustrated wanting to hear God more. I encouraged her to take time each day to pray and read her Bible as an act of faith. It could be thought of as a little act of obedience. Each day when I pray and spend time in my Bible, I get direction for the day. Sometimes the direction feels insignificant, but I'm always glad when I follow it. Other times in my life, I've felt God speaking big things to me. Since I try hard to follow the little things, I'm fairly sure when I hear Him with the big ones. Cultivating the ability to hear and obey has saved me from a world of grief and also opened up incredible blessings. Of course this is a process and I'm always learning.
Then it all became clear. Teaching kids to be obedient in little things is very important. Some day, when you yell out to them to "stop"! You might be saving them from getting hit by a car or from running headlong into some other kind of danger. The word "stop" in itself doesn't mean much, especially if it isn't usually enforced. However, if kids know that there are consequences for not obeying, they will "stop". Obeying God in the little things also teaches us to stop, when there is danger ahead. We are, after all, His children.

Here's Nurse Happy Sunny Day's Suggestion in action : The kids research historical characters and act them out. They dress like them and say famous quotes. The parents have to guess who they are. Its a great way to learn in an alternative way. Can you guess what characters the kids are? Art dog is Daniel Boone. Sock Fashion Expert is Theodore Roosevelt. Super Catman..... well, he just wanted to get in on all the fun.

Working Mom Blues and The Case of The Breakfasty Date

As I pulled up at home after working my 12 hour night shift, I heard "shh, come in through the basement". My first thought was that I was experiencing some kind of alien encounter and that the beet like creatures in there were, indeed, other worldly. I had to look around to figure out that my hubby was speaking to me through the upstairs window. He knew that once Moonbeam saw me, it would be all over. She'd want to nurse and she wouldn't want me heading off to the shower or anywhere else, for that matter. After dropping water bottles and other assorted junk I was attempting to carry in, I eventually made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom. The children distracted Moonbeam and she didn't see me sneak by to the shower. Upon coming out of the bathroom, I was surprised to find that my husband had prepared and snuck us in each a nice egg type breakfast in bed. Oh, it was just like going out on a date, except at home. It was such an oasis after such an incredibly crazy night. At last, Moonbeam had her way and she happily filled her tummy with warm mama milk. As I drifted in and out of sleep, she eventually started laughing and poking at my face. The next thing I knew, my husband came and took her away. It's a bit odd, considering "breakfast in bed" as a date, but hey, you gotta be creative when you don't have a lotta cash on hand. I thought it was romantic :-)
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My Dysfunctional Relationship with People, Food and Dolphins Part 2

As I was saying, I decided to begin eating healthier and so I incorporated vegetables as my lunch. These were no ordinary vegetables. No. These veggies seemed to come straight out of a horror movie. Perhaps it was because I watched "Fear Tactics" with my Mother in law for several hours. My favorite one, by the way, was the un -conjoined twins. (Oh I just lost it when that midget jumped out of the dog kennel yelling "i'm hungry".) I'm not sure. I just know that there was something spooky about this new leaf that I was turning. I started out having to descend the steps of our dark, creepy basement. It is known as "the men's domain". In my mind, I am not allowed down there much without good reason. When I enter, I hear "yes?" as if he is saying "please state your purpose for entering my domain". Truth be told, its not really that I'm not allowed down there, its more that I can't stand the disorder and mess. Its often so disorganized and dusty that it makes me nervous. And so, I crossed the creepy basement over to a box of dirt that a seemingly nice church lady had given me. Inside this box of dirt, were the buried bodies of mammoth carrots and yes, even a few ugly giant beet looking creatures. I carefully placed them into a bowel and ascended the steps. Feely things and dirt grossed me out, but I forced myself to be brave. Even a spider jumped off of them into the sink where I was attempting to baptise or purify off the dirt. It may have been an omen, I'm not sure. The children were not the least bit sympathetic. Neither was my husband, who, has forbidden me from serving him beets in any type of food dish.
As I cut the beet creature, It reminded me of some type of organ. The colors inside it were very disturbing. Even more disturbing was that it turned everything it touched a bloody red color. I am telling you, if vegetables could try out for a part in a horror flick, a beet would win the part hands down! It even turned the carrots an unearthly red color. Yes, the vegetable is surely a frightening sight. My only comfort was that despite its odd color, uncanny need to hemorrhage and creepy designs and feelers, it does taste a little bit sweet.
After eating brownies and vegetables that day, I was getting hungry, so I decided to make myself some nachos. Wouldn't you know it, but honest to Pete, I got the plate too close to the broiler and my chips caught on fire! It was a very alarming end to the day.
Today, I have again submitted myself to eating beets and carrots. My children are beginning to question my sanity where taste is concerned. They have, however, eaten all the carrot sticks that I've been putting out on the table. This gives me some hope that I am doing something right.

My dysfunctional relationship with dolphins began with my new friend "Skippy Jon Jenn", who has renamed herself "The Dolphin Goddess". As a little girl, her dream was to swim with dolphins. A couple of weeks ago, we spent the afternoon together and she divulged this bit of personal trivia to me. Since then, every time I have walked into a store, I've seemed drawn to the dolphin memorabilia. Its never some nice dolphin ware. Its always some cheap China dolphin figurine, wind chime or other such junk. At first I thought it was a coincidence. "Wow, there's a dolphin clock!" I should buy that for my new friend. Then I thought better of it. The more I shopped, the more dolphin wares seemed to eerily call to me. Suddenly, I began noticing that every aisle contained some kind of dolphin. They began happily barking "buy me buy me buy me"! Store after store, day after day, the same creepy phenomena occurred. It is as if dolphins are out to get me! Selah. Have you ever had a friend who liked some such thing? Did you think "oh i bet Sally would just love that!" The next thing you knew, suddenly Chinese dollar items began to haunt your subconsciousness? Somebody, tell me I am not alone in this new paranoia? Ok, so I'm being a bit of a drama queen about it..... or am i? Perhaps this is some type of conspiracy. Who's to guess? Whatever the reason, there is something sinister about the whole thing. I'm telling you, its fishy. Dolphins are out to get me, or at least I am currently suffering a dysfunctional relationship with them!