Bless Our "Hom" and Other Stories From My Life

Last night, I had an "enlightening" experience. It was pitch black out and I had just gotten done with multiple chores in town including getting The Archer into the passport people, The Sock Fashion Expert to her guitar lesson, various chores for my husband including picking up a bunch of long metal bars from a machinery shop and of course, and as always, groceries. After driving the icy, single lane, hour and a half trip back and braving the unguarded ravines, we arrived at the "top of our road" where it is necessary to switch vehicles to the "chained truck". It was pitch black out and BITTER COLD. We were trying to get all the groceries loaded into the back of the other truck. Us girls climbed into the back of the first truck and handed down all the supplies for the boys to load into the other. Just when I thought we'd pulled off the mission flawlessly and I was headed to the drivers side of "chained truck",

"WHAM"!!

Light came in the form of stars. When I could see again, I discovered I'd run into the bars of metal sticking out from the back of the truck.
Still seeing a few stars floating around accompanied by sudden pain, I tried driving home. The boys were in the back of the truck while Miss Moonbeam, Sock Fashion Expert and "Deb" the guitar rode shotgun. I had a bad feeling about trying to make it up my hill, particularly because I still couldn't see straight and the thought of my boys in the back sickened me. I told the Archer he had the final honor of our steep driveway. Ice coated the climb, but I knew Archer was the superior 4WDer. I got out and started walking. I watched him make it up half way and then loose control. Though the pain in my head hurt, nothing wrenched my guts like watching him fall backward down that ice chute with my 8 year old in the back of the truck. I yelled through the bitter icy darkness for Catman to get out, though he didn't need my coaxing. The icy semi-controlled ride down backwards was enough to make him want to walk up. I remembered just a winter or two ago, right down here, a lion had buried a deer and returned to eat it many many times. Since then, none of us have relished climbing our hill in the dark.
The sound of the truck barrelling up the driveway jogged my memory from the lion, and I scaled the icy bank to avoid Archer on his mission. This is why I wanted so desperately to find a house near town. Pitch black nights like these on icy hills with my babies in danger. These hardships haunt me. Backward Archer slid again, flying with groceries and children down into the depths of darkness. I yelled below to Super Catman "he's coming stay out of the way!!" "I am I am" he assured me back. Thankfully Archer had the sense to park this time which prompted me back down. As I tried pulling the most perishable out of the back, fruit and vegetables fell out of a bag. I couldn't see anything, not even my hands in front of my face and had no idea what had fallen where. I felt around on the ground hating to waste what I'd just bought. Finally with arms full of groceries, I carefully inched up my way in the dark. Art Dog was coming down with a flashlight to help carry stuff up. Walking up ice in the dark is no easy matter either.
Finally in my dining room, I found myself way too wound up and looking for some way to relax from the horrors I'd just suffered. They were all too common in my life. My head throbbed and other circular reasoning began to creep all too familiarly in along with the pain. After the kids had made another trip up and down most of the perishable stuff was in. The bananas had turned brown in the cold and all but one tomato was crushed in the bag. It no longer mattered. Everybody was safe. My daugter started laughing. Up on the counter a wooden sign now read "Bless our Hom". Nobody knows what happened to the "e".
*****************************************************************************
Miss Belly Fat AND The Brown Offenders
On Monday, we had our "girls accountability group" at Mists house. Since the majority of our girls crew has signed up to run "Bloomsday", I had the brilliant idea to meet early and go running. Four of us brave souls met in order that we could "train" together. Being the leader and only "veteran" of the run, I proudly answered any questions our troops had. On and on we ran effortlessly. Well, seemingly effortlessly. You see, I felt like crap. I don't know if it was the 4 miles Sock Fashion Expert dragged me on a day or two before or if it was just that I am not a morning person. Perhaps it was the girls stellar pace. For some reason I felt like I was dragging and we had only gone 1/2 mile. "This might not be pretty" I thought to myself. Obediently, my dog Libby, jogged beside me. Suddenly, she jolted to the left then right. She could see other dogs behind a fence and wanted off her leash. I fought to keep her in "heel" mode. "What a good dog you have" Sweet RoseMary" commented. She was our new recruit having only moved here this past year. I smiled, not having the energy to comment back. Soon we had reached our goal and I stopped "what now?" I asked, secretly feeling like vomiting. "We keep going" Mist informed nonchalantly running by me. I got back into the line up arguing with myself that I was indeed, capable. Then I remembered that all these girls are MUCH YOUNGER. "C'mon", Miss Belly Fat" moaned, "if we were 10-15 years younger like these girls, we could keep up - just give up and let them go". Miss Belly Fat always sounds plausible, but I can never listen to her no matter how good she sounds. On I plodded looking like an injured heifer amongst gazelles. Sweet RoseMary started laughing "your dog just shot poop at me" she informed me matter of factly. "I've never seen anything like that before". Sure enough, Miss Libby, knowing she was supposed to stay in step with me had shot out her load mid run. Perhaps she sensed my desperation in trying to keep up and was doing her best to slow my friend down. Sweet RoseMary dodged the doggie doo doo. Seconds later, a second deadly brown shot out at her again. Sweet RoseMary dodged again. Before long we were at the homecoming stretch and had reached a huge hill. "Is this as big as Doomsday Hill?" they wanted to know. "No", I proudly informed them. "Doomsday Hill is 10x that size". They all groaned. Soon we were running up it and I couldn't breathe. Libby started barking at the dogs behind the fence and I used the excuse to slow down. Now all the "Young Girls" were ahead of me and thinking I was having "dog problems". "Good Excuse" Miss Belly Fat reasoned. "Shut Up!!" I yelled back to my inner slob personality. "Now I have to catch up with them" I groaned back. "Why?" she said "You're older and rightfully slower". "Who needs enemies when I have her" I wondered. Libby and I plunged ahead not far behind.
After our Bible Study everybody wanted to hear more about "Bloomsday". The girls could hardly contain their excitement. Ominously Miss Belly Fat reminded me that this was only the beginning of the next several months. This fire started among my girlfriends would not easily be quenched. They were determined to run it with everything they had to offer and more, all of them wanting to impress their men. "Just think of what we will look like for swim suit season" I coaxed them. "Just think of how happy our men will be with our rock hard buns". "Stop it" Miss Belly Fat screamed!! "I wonder if they can hear her" I reasoned to myself. This pep talk was all the girls needed. Soon Elasta Woman was leading our entire Bible Study group in 200 combination Crunches and Fiery had escaped outside not wanting to witness this craziness. Rosemary's little boy crawled up between his mom and I saying "Poopie". A RANCID SMELL reached my nostrils. "I'm sorry" she panted between crunches. His bottom, the diapered offender was aimed in my direction. Now it wasn't just the crunches making me short of breath, it was the Dirty Diaper Offender. "Poopie" he said again trying to get his mom to stop her exercising. "Well I guess I won't feel so guilty about my dog shooting poop at her" I reasoned as I kept following Elasta Woman's moves. Miss Belly Fat was somehow drowned out in the terrible odor and I kept up...... well almost.

C'mon Battle Miss Belly Fat With Me!

Despite the fact that Halloween is over, Chocolate continues to haunt me. Thankfully, my friend, "Carrot Lady", named by Sock Fashion Expert, is praying for me. This gives me some measure of hope.
The other day when I opened the refrigerator, the pizza box, unprovoked, attacked me and hit me square in the head. This should have knocked some sense into me, but it only furthered my cravings for unhealthy calorie laden foes.
Miss Belly Fat knew she was in trouble when we stepped on the scale together and I
was 10lbs heavier than I had been at my swim this past summer. Add to that several inches on my waist (4-5 ballpark). Then something really scary happened. My friend, Nurse Happy Sunny Day, returned from Hawaii and I was cooersed into doing a sugar fast with her. Actually she said "I'm going to do a sugar fast when I get back from Hawaii". I said something like "o.k., I'll do it with you." I'm not sure what personality was posessing me at the time, but whoever it was, is still hiding behind that extra tire of fat for fear of the rest of my personalities ganging up on her.
All silliness aside, I'm starting a sugar fast. I'm also going to crack down on more exercise, more water, whole grains rather than white flours, etc.. Who is with me?!

Silence.............................................. Somebody sneezes. I know you're there. "Uhhhhh just surfing - see ya lady!" ................................... Come on - Somebody, anybody?! Aren't you concerned about all the Holiday foods just around the corner?! Need I remind you that we all tend to go a little carb happy these next two months?! More Deafening silence................................................. The guy on biggest loser says that the problem is we all celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas for weeks rather than just over one day. I suppose that didn't convince anybody either.

Well, ok, I haven't convinced the cynical side of myself either. But this one thing I do know - Miss Belly Fat will not win! She may have been winning recent battles, but she will not win the war! I'm pulling out all my secret weapons. I'm dawning something other than flip flops er army boots! I'm putting away my twinkies and taken out some veggies (for real). C'mon bloggies! We can do this!!

Accept the challenge. Today, together we can do something about all those bully Miss Belly Fat's out there. We're in this thing together! I don't know what you want to do, but commit to doing something healthier this month with me :-) Then we can pray for each other.

My Recent Fitness Exploits

These photos include a deer on river bank, ducks i was never able to get close enough to get a good photo of, a tree which was willing to stand still (the local "rope swing"), Catman pretending to be "the King", and Moonbeam ready for an adventure.




After working a couple of days at the hospital, I was ready to embark on some type of athletic endeavor. As you may be aware, I am recently pretending to be a runner. For the first time in my life, someone was willing to run with me. This was an exciting new break through because I am "friend challenged", I live deep in the mountains, and I am afraid of running by myself. Since I haven't run (a straight mile) since high school (18 years ago), its been a good challenge. I am running with a 22 year old who was in athletics when she was in high school (not as many years ago). We started last week. I cancelled once because I got called to work. She cancelled once because of several inches of snow. Today was our second run together.
I have been preparing for these runs quite diligently. First of all, I dress like a runner. I wear 3 running bras, a running shirt, running legging leotard type things and a sweat shirt. I decided that the too big running shorts I got at a second hand store looked weird, so I put on some clearance wal mart stained up running pants that I usually wear when I clean the bathroom. I also dawned running shoes that I was not able to sell on eBay. Again, I consumed granola for breakfast (something I'm pretty sure runners eat). My next big move was to add "running" to my list of interests on my blog profile description. When I went grocery shopping I bought a copy of "Women's Running Magazine". I'm pretty sure that these things will some how mysteriously make me into a runner of sorts.
I thought I might hurl after the first mile of running with my friend, Mist. I didn't want to let on though. If I'm going to be a runner I have to fake their "no pain no gain" mentality. I ferverently wished one of the few cars that drove by would be someone who wanted to stop and visit with us. Much to my disappointment and anguish, they all just drove by and waved. Mist says that soon we will try running 2 miles without stopping to walk. I smiled and said "sure", trying to act nonchalant. Miss Belly Fat is panicking. She would put her foot down, but she doesn't have one.
Yesterday, after I got off of working 2 12 hour night shifts, the house was a disaster. I felt tempted to feel sorry for myself. Instead I took Moonbeam on a hike to a nearby lake. As I was sitting there, two men came down and stood on either side of me to fish. I was holding really still and they couldn't tell I was there. I feared one of them would decide to urinate so I decided to announce myself after I carefully stopped nursing. Then I took the kayak out on the river by myself for a couple of miles. It felt good to expend some energy after being cooped up.

The Encounter

I love skiing through the forest in back of my house. It makes me feel alive. I find any excuse to be out there, especially on days as nice as these. Today after Moonbeam fell asleep, I took off with skis in my arms to hike back to the snowmobile trail. As I am skiing, frustrations fall off of me like the snow melting around me. The house I can't seem to keep up to my standards, the feeling like I am always barely treading water between work, home, home school, children, friends, etc..
Wonderful things have happened out there in the forest for me. Long meaningful hikes with my husband. We've had fun family hikes with my kids backpacking Moonbeam or pulling Karsten by sled. Our beloved German Shepherd, now deceased once ran through those woods, now buried there. Not long ago, a good friend was skiing with me back there. Out of the blue she started crying. She said that she knew she was missing something. She wanted the kind of relationship that I have with God. We prayed together out there for the Holy Spirit to do His work in her. Even part of my placenta from my miscarriage is buried out there next to our canine guardian, now returned to the earth. The forest is a peaceful place for me.
Deer stand in droves back there. I see scores of them as I ski. Many times they don't even bother running away. They're used to seeing me and know I don't pose them any threat. Some of them loiter around our yard even when the kids are out playing. When I don't see any deer, I suspect that something is off. That's when I get concerned.
Today like all days, I was challenging myself between skiing and hiking out there. Before I got my skis on, I practiced my quick draw (just in case). I grimaced at how painfully slow I was. On I went skiing peacefully. The snow pack had become slushy and it was melting all around me making boots almost impossible to maneuver in the hard packed trail now softening. After a few miles of hiking and skiing I headed back. As I got closer to my familiar path back home I started hearing things. First it was a bird flying over head. Then I noticed that I wasn't seeing any deer. I started to get edgy. I looked around several times. Just as I was about to continue on I heard a sound and saw fast moving brush. I went for my gun....... A second passed as I tried to distinguish with my eyes what the commotion was that I was seeing. My heart was racing. I looked in disgust as I saw a tree had been unearthed from the snow that had bound it. Well so much for that adventure. It was just an attacking, er, tree.

The Wheels of Progress

When we returned home from our trip, I was found a monstrous sight! It had snowed and snowed. Snow had fallen off the roof in large mounds. Then the weather turned warm and melted all the snow mounds into solid ice over our steps and porch. I ignored the impass (using the other door) until yesterday. My first and only visitor arrived unexpectedly. It was even a female!!! She had come by snowmobile. She braved much to enter. I was so embarassed!

Today I set about chiseling at the mounds until I had set these captive steps relatively free. At first I thought they'd be buried alive until spring. I almost abandoned the rescue attempts, feeling it was an impossible feat. Then as I drove my spade over and over into it, small chunks came off. I hoped to free just one. Soon it was two. Before I knew it, I had most of them done. Can you tell they are smiling with appreciation and deep gratitude?

It reminded me about how God can change us. When we work hard by taking just one step of faith at a time, it leads to another. The change isn't instant, but results do come. It was also a killer arm work out ;-) Maybe I can do the walk way tomorrow. What change do you need to chisel away at?

Hebrews 13 (New King James Version) :20 Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, 21 make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you[d] what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Ice or My Love Hate Relationship with Nordic Walking

I know you have all been anxiously more commontary on "Mordic Walking". As you may already be aware, it looks really stupid. If you do not know what Nordic walking is, then you have come to the right place. Nordic Walking is simply walking with ski poles. That's it.

Pro's to Nordic Walking : Better Stability (especially on ice)

Good weight distrubution - great for heavy people with joint problems, great for packing a baby

Works your arms

Great on steep inclines, deep snow, uneven surfaces and yes did I mention ice?

All around great aerobic workout

Cons to Nordic Walking : It looks stupid

I have been challenged by this mile of pure ice on our road. Years back, it kept me indoors. Now I am learning to see it as more of a challenge. My ingenious husband put sheet metal screws in a pair of my old hikers. No I do not have a screw loose. It really works great on ice!! For a fraction of the price of some fancy ice spikes, you can do this too :-)

I can hear you already "but I might break a hip". Well just remember that stagnant life style along with unhealthy eating habbits is a good way to slowly but surely deteriorate your health.

Live Dangerously. Take on the wild side with your ski poles.

Mordic Walking - Back in the Saddle Again

Yes, today I decided to take up my pilgrimage again..... After the terrible gluttony of my Christmas shifts, I have decided that i must get some exercise in before our big trip to Minnesota. Today i dawned Moonbeam in my pack, and trudged through snow that was 3/4 up my lower leg. It was a beautiful day, and i enjoyed the first 5 minutes of it. I saw a couple of slow moving deer. I imagine snow this hard for me to move through must affect them. I saw a squirrel running up the tree. The brilliant white snow resting upon the tree branches almost took my breath away. Then reality set in. Boy this pack is really hurting me. Wow this snow is deep. Oh, this is a lot of work!! When i broke out onto the road, i observed it had not yet been plowed. Snowmobiles in the distance looked to be having a lot more fun than me. Here is the imaginary dialogue that I imagined they may have said to me :

"What the heck are you doing lady?!" (snowmobile person)
"I am Mordic - I mean Nordic walking" (me)
"oh" (snowmobiler)
"That (snowmobiling) looks like a lot of fun" (me)
"it is" (snowmobiler)
"that looks really stupid" (snowmobiler)
"i have got to find a better way to burn calories" (me)

Even the guy plowing on his 4-wheeler looked like he was having a good time. Well, yesterday, I did enjoy myself. It was a lot less painful not packing the baby through that stuff. I followed the same route. I think tomorrow I will snowboard and shovel snow instead.