YAAK Adventures: September 2014

Future Shop

I was running, like I try to do most days, fighting for some kind of sanity to set in.......

The dog had run off exploring and as usual, and the whisper of water drew me off the gravel and into the forest. The compulsion in me to get to water never seems to quench itself. Its a never ending quest that consumes more time than I care to admit. This time though, the forest was too quiet and I didn't know that I'd picked up a stalker.........

Unknowingly the lion pursued me through the brush and back out to the lonely road, creeping along so I didn't know, only that something wasn't right. Suddenly the burden to pray overtook everything else and I was almost doubled over at the base of a big rock formation. I had planned to start running, little did I know running may have been a lethal choice at the moment. As I prayed, I suddenly felt empowered with the knowledge that my endless grieving had to come to an end. It was time for me to chose joy and to support my husband's decisions regardless of how I felt. I needed to make myself excited rather than dread each new day. The burden passed, but the conviction remained heavy as I stood up and turned around to yell for my wayward pup. Turning and shouting on the top of my lungs for the dog, I saw the flash of a long tail pass over the top of me on the rocks above. I shivered inadvertantly as the realization hit me hard, a lion had been crouched over the top of me and my abrupt standing turn, yelling for the dog deterred him. I kept yelling and the dog eventually came from up the road the opposite direction. Goose bumps rose all up and down my arms and I thanked God for His deliverance with fresh gratitude......

Some time around then, an old girlfriend of mine, whom I hadn't talked to in months had a dream in the middle of the night. She said she dreamed that I was pregnant with a daughter named "Hope", and it was a much anticipated and greatly celebrated child. In the next scene, my hope was aborted and she was at its funeral. She said woke up feeling like I needed to fight for Hope.......

Bizarre occurrences seemed to thwart my best efforts for a good attitude time and time again. I'd drive the hour to town, buy fresh organic groceries, master pack the RV refrigerator full and then it would quit. Expensive food would spoil and I'd have a big mess to clean up. That happened several times. We even got our 2 year old refrigerator out of storage to have that one conk out. Water lines froze up in a freak early frost. The outhouse remains only partly built, using it early before the men are down below working is always nagging the back of my subconscious. Every day life seems so overwhelming almost every day. I picture myself in a kind of Green Acres scenario. The man who sold us the property, who happens to have recently gotten out of prison, doesn't seem to want to move out of his cabin. There is building going on all around him, but he seems almost oblivious to it all. Since that cabin was supposed to be our temporary dwelling, our phone may end up getting hooked up some place outside. Not to mention that we haven't had a phone since June. I have to drive down the road with a phone card to use one. Even the fact that our RV is parked at the bottom of a gravel pit defys all sense of creativity lurking within me. Thankfully Elasta Woman suggested putting down a tarp underneath to catch the never ending powdery earth that clings to everything around it. This dirt haunts me daily, poking and jeering fiendishly.

Just as bizarre as the opposition, goodwill also seems to defy reason here. Our builders, Matthew and Bob have donated some of their own materials to our cause, as have several others. As I type, the man helping my husand mill lumber won't take much if anything. Gracies husband sowed his labor to help on the shop one day. Her dad donated days of labor and mini cat work to us. The Scottland family is still storing our stuff there for free. Art Dog works tirelessly, every day with no complaints. I am constantly humbled by the selflessness of so many kind souls. I am also reminded, every time I work in the Emergency Department, that many many people face insurmountable horrors to which I could not possibly fathom. Every shift, their reality slaps me in the face and says "what on earth do you have to complain about?!" My hope may have undergone some hard beatings when we closed on this property, but even with living life in this gravel pit, she slowly ressurects herself bit by bit daily.