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Live Richly, Live Free. Embrace All The Blessings From Our Creator and Marvel in His Creation.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Vibrant Love and Worm Poop

Its been another crazy week behind me. Two days of intense pediatric life support training and testing and then yet another house escapade. This one involved an amazing Internet find. It was looking like one was going to get auctioned off for super cheap. I was ecstatic! This might be the big break I was waiting for! I went to the court house and got a print off. Then I went to a few title companies and checked with a few banks. After driving around sleuthing out this upcoming repo and stopping umpteen places, I finally found out that the secondary mortgage company was planning to bid 97,000 for the property. I wasn't surprised, but still, it was yet another dead end....... At least I learned about the process. I have done nothing but learn real estate since this all began.......

The other escapade involved me with my cell phone in a certain aisle of a local feed store. It seems that our dear sweet Miss Libby......

HAS WORMS!! (horror music imagination please)

My husband said they looked like "earth worms". Frazzled after the intensive testing, the only thing I could think of was to call my dependable "Saphara".... and have her Google W-O-R-M-S. She was not at all thrilled about this proposition........To make matters worse, Super Catman was having grave concerns about his lesson plan for the day and was wanting to dispute certain elements of his lesson plan, namely the hard subjects ;-) Chaos erupted over the line as I stood helplessly and blankly staring at half a dozen "wormers". "Ewww" said Saphara "these are disturbing". "C'mon -I'm standing here and people are starting to avoid me widely!" I begged. Passers by kept their distance as we discussed shapes and color of the parasite in question. When it was all said and done, I bought the combination kind since we couldn't make a definitive diagnosis.
The more I thought about it, the more I kept seeing the awful things in my head. Soon I was applying the concept of the parasitic condition to everything around me......

Real Estate parasites........

emotional parasites in my head.....

parasites in my dogs intestines.....

worms worms worms EVERYWHERE!! UGH!!!

Right underneath my nose they lived and multiplied. Here I had that sweet puppy on my lap kissing her like she was a child and she was full of them - yuck! When we got home my husband said "Here's Libby and company". I was puzzled, then it dawned on me who her company was... UGH!!
Before dawn the next morning, Miss Libby had her first "treatment". Then I sent her outside. From now on she was only allowed to be in her kennel or outdoors. No more laying around the house till this horrid thing had passed. At noon the kids came in to announce that I needed to promptly return her to the pound. There were piles of thick worm infested doo doo where they were attempting to make snow people and they were greatly disturbed. I didn't blame them when I went out to shovel. IT WAS SICK!! Gingerly I scooped some of the "Evidence" into a container to bring to the vet. Later on when we went for a walk, I was horrified to see that alive and well white ugly worms were making their exit from a warm pile of her feces. I thought I might pass out. Scenarios played out in my mind of my glasses falling off into the wormy doodoo along with a host of other horrors. I began to wonder if I would get through this with my sanity intact. Somehow I did......

Despite all those horror movie scenes, GOOD THINGS OCCURRED TOO. The day before my birthday my husband came home with a bouquet of tulips. I admit, I hinted to him that I liked tulips.... I did this rather inconspicuously when I made sure he was in the room and loudly announced "I like tulips". I did it because I do, indeed, like tulips. I like daffodils too. Spring flowers are sweet. I was also thinking that maybe I would save him some money the next time he decided to buy me flowers. He always buys me a dozen roses and spends a fortune on them. Its really really sweet.... and extravagant. Anyhow, when he came in the night before my birthday with a bunch of tulips, it made my night. I smiled and couldn't possibly let go of him. After he finally pried himself away, I went upstairs to put them in a vase. Just when I'd cut the plastic wrap off of them, I heard something behind me. I turned around and there he was again..... with a dozen of the most beautiful, vibrant, orange roses you've ever seen! My heart melted..... It was so so very sweet..... I put the beautiful bouquet of tulips and roses on the table in awe. It was certainly the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I have ever possessed - a "10" on the WOW FACTOR for sure. The next day everyone was gone and working. I was okay with it. That bouquet made me feel special. The day after that, when my birthday was forgotten and over, I was about to head out running with Miss Saphara. My husband stopped me, informing me that he was taking me out for lunch when I got back. Again, it was totally unexpected. He took me out and treated me special. He said we were going to get pizzas for dinner and my party afterward. My daughter was making me a cake. Turned out it was no ordinary cake. On the contrary, no bakery could hold a candle to the extraordinary, elaborate, incredibly dense, decadent, rich chocolate, strawberry and cream cheese magnificence. When my husband wanted too many pizzas ordered, I knew something was up. Turns out he'd even invited our friends to celebrate as a surprise. Selah. What an amazing birthday it turned out to be. As we all sat around that table enjoying the festivities, I couldn't stop looking at that beautiful, vibrant bouquet of delicate tulips interwoven with the strong, brilliant orange roses. It just spoke volumes to me. I smiled, feeling grateful for my husband, and thinking we were something along those lines...........

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Working Mom Blues and The Evil Real Estate Alien Octopus in the Sky

It is as if some alien force has taken over the real estate market and its long tentacles hold every house in its creepy spiralled tentacles taunting them in front of me........ just take last week for example.......

I got an "alert" that a house on "Flicker of Hope" Road was coming up. The alert came from none other than Fannie Mae herself. As the usual drill is, I call the "call such and such a person for information". "Such and such a person" does not respond to her voice mail EVER. She says to check with her office assistants on a pre-recorded message. I call her office assistants who divulge very little information. I decide to take matters into my own hands and go check out this "Flicker of Hope Road" house. I had to make an extended trip to town anyway, and had another house to look at anyway, so we embarked on our adventure.

First we had to make it down the wall of ice in our driveway. Fortunately, Sock Fashion Expert and the boys had hauled our bags down already. I just had Miss Moonbeam and was wearing spiked shoes for the occasion. Half way down the treacherous decent, my ice spikes failed me. Not willing to let go of Miss Moonbeam, my elbow cracked the ice hard and I began sliding down on my behind. Pain shot through my arm and my fingers felt tingly, but I was too afraid to notice. I still had to make it down the rest of the way and she was crying now. Inch by inch I lowered myself closer and closer to the waiting truck. It was a nerve racking way to begin the journey............

When at last, we had braved the hour out of the Montana wilds and had made it to the highway, I breathed a sigh of relief. Still my elbow ached, but at least we were off the ice. I found "Flicker of Hope Road" with great enthusiasm. "This has to be it" I reasoned to myself. Maybe this was my big break. Maybe this was my "Flicker of Hope" indeed. When I saw the big propane truck sitting there on the road, it should have been my first indication that something was amiss. Two other vehicles were sitting there too. I had happened to run into the "realtor's photographer" and some other pertinent lady. There was a big hoopla going on because the propane truck lady said it was too icy to deliver the propane to the property in question. Needless to say there was no way the real estate people were letting me go look. They decided it was too icy and deferred me once again to the lady who doesn't answer her phone. Now let me tell you, after what I'd just been through, this little jaunt would have been a walk in the park, but there was no convincing them.

Once again, the evil real estate alien octopus waved a "Flicker of Hope" and pulled it away again. I sat there in my truck, feeling rather defeated. Nothing I said could convince these bozos that it was plausible to just walk around the outside of the house and look at it. For Pete's sake, how long would they stay there taking pictures anyway? After all, Fannie Mae sent me a notice about it, right? Why would they send me a notice if they didn't want me looking? Scenarios flashed through my brain of black spy suits, flashlights and high tech spy ware I would need to go investigate out this property. Dramatic spy music seemed to take over the truck and I looked over wondering if I should implicate The Sock Fashion Expert in my sudden and supposed "crime spree" of looking at a property before it was "officially on the market".

Some where between the scenarios of me lurking around wearing spy ware and the crazy spy music, reason once again took hold of me and I knew that indeed, alien octopus had won this battle. Why should I act so crazy over a listing that may end up to have a price tag much greater than I could afford?

Half an hour later, I was picking up my husband to look at a quaint house in town. This was one our friends had looked at, made an offer on and were now backing out of. It was in a nice neighborhood, cheap and had a tiny yard but was big enough inside for all of us to fit. Did I mention it was CHEAP? I think we had already decided that we were going to make an offer long before we got there. Something about the almost impassable wall of ice we fight daily made the decision ahead for us. We walked through the house with wonder. Could we actually all live in here? No hoodlums nearby? No train tracks in the front yard? No squatters living in the basement? Perfect!! Lets get it!! Happy as can be, we secure the offer that day!! Oh joy!!

Every day after that, I imagined myself living in town. I was walking to the grocery store. I was riding my bike around pulling the baby in a bike trailer. The boys were walking to the river to fish. The dog even had this Prozac happy look in these fantasies as she had to be walked several times a day by always compliant children. In these wild fantasies, I go to "Zumba" with other nurses and do other "normal" activities that townspeople take for granted. My kids have real friends and do activities such as youth group and sports. On and on these fantasies went until the alien octopus struck once again!!!!!!!! Our friends changed their minds. They decided to go head and take the house.............Selah. Really, and truly, I love them and are very very happy for them. It will be a great investment and I know they won't go wrong with it.

And so with a pouty lower lip, I loaded up my bags and braved the driveway again. My arm still isn't right from last week and loaded under the weight of food, clothing and sleep gear it throbbed. Gingerly, I edged down the steep, snowy drive. It was no wonder that Miss Belly Fat won out tonight and conned me into buying some chocolate from the vending machine. And so, from fighting nameless Fannie Mae robots to making offers on houses that are otherwise taken, the giant alien real estate octopus laughs at my demise as I realize I have been once again, royally whipped. Alien octopus laughs and waves houses at me tauntingly. I wonder what new strategy, if any, that I can plausibly come up with.

"Is this the girl who left Minnesota with nothing?" He laughs. "Is this the girl who travelled India with all her small children in tow?" Ha ha ha. "Is she the one who fought red tape like the plague with her fire fighting business?" Giggle giggle laugh!! "Is this the girl who clawed through seeing her childrens injuries dissolve? "Is this the girl who refused to see defeat so many times before?" "Yes, she's the one" I whine. "I've fought better than you many many times before and I'm sure I will again". She winces. She knows I am a super alien fighter from many light years away. Still, she has the upper hands. I wish I could remember how Evil Real Estate Alien Octopuses are defeated. I will have to look to my super heroine manual and check back with you later.......... Oh..... thats right....... we do it the same way all the other bad guys are defeated. Remember God's goodness and deliverance in times past.....Trust Him and commit our ways.... and worship with passion like crazy....... silly me. Stay tuned for my next exciting adventure :-)

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. - Rev 12:11

Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass - Ps 37:5

All the ends of the world Shall remember and turn to the LORD, And all the families of the nations Shall worship before You - Ps 22:27

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Bless Our "Hom" and Other Stories From My Life

Last night, I had an "enlightening" experience. It was pitch black out and I had just gotten done with multiple chores in town including getting The Archer into the passport people, The Sock Fashion Expert to her guitar lesson, various chores for my husband including picking up a bunch of long metal bars from a machinery shop and of course, and as always, groceries. After driving the icy, single lane, hour and a half trip back and braving the unguarded ravines, we arrived at the "top of our road" where it is necessary to switch vehicles to the "chained truck". It was pitch black out and BITTER COLD. We were trying to get all the groceries loaded into the back of the other truck. Us girls climbed into the back of the first truck and handed down all the supplies for the boys to load into the other. Just when I thought we'd pulled off the mission flawlessly and I was headed to the drivers side of "chained truck",


Light came in the form of stars. When I could see again, I discovered I'd run into the bars of metal sticking out from the back of the truck.
Still seeing a few stars floating around accompanied by sudden pain, I tried driving home. The boys were in the back of the truck while Miss Moonbeam, Sock Fashion Expert and "Deb" the guitar rode shotgun. I had a bad feeling about trying to make it up my hill, particularly because I still couldn't see straight and the thought of my boys in the back sickened me. I told the Archer he had the final honor of our steep driveway. Ice coated the climb, but I knew Archer was the superior 4WDer. I got out and started walking. I watched him make it up half way and then loose control. Though the pain in my head hurt, nothing wrenched my guts like watching him fall backward down that ice chute with my 8 year old in the back of the truck. I yelled through the bitter icy darkness for Catman to get out, though he didn't need my coaxing. The icy semi-controlled ride down backwards was enough to make him want to walk up. I remembered just a winter or two ago, right down here, a lion had buried a deer and returned to eat it many many times. Since then, none of us have relished climbing our hill in the dark.
The sound of the truck barrelling up the driveway jogged my memory from the lion, and I scaled the icy bank to avoid Archer on his mission. This is why I wanted so desperately to find a house near town. Pitch black nights like these on icy hills with my babies in danger. These hardships haunt me. Backward Archer slid again, flying with groceries and children down into the depths of darkness. I yelled below to Super Catman "he's coming stay out of the way!!" "I am I am" he assured me back. Thankfully Archer had the sense to park this time which prompted me back down. As I tried pulling the most perishable out of the back, fruit and vegetables fell out of a bag. I couldn't see anything, not even my hands in front of my face and had no idea what had fallen where. I felt around on the ground hating to waste what I'd just bought. Finally with arms full of groceries, I carefully inched up my way in the dark. Art Dog was coming down with a flashlight to help carry stuff up. Walking up ice in the dark is no easy matter either.
Finally in my dining room, I found myself way too wound up and looking for some way to relax from the horrors I'd just suffered. They were all too common in my life. My head throbbed and other circular reasoning began to creep all too familiarly in along with the pain. After the kids had made another trip up and down most of the perishable stuff was in. The bananas had turned brown in the cold and all but one tomato was crushed in the bag. It no longer mattered. Everybody was safe. My daugter started laughing. Up on the counter a wooden sign now read "Bless our Hom". Nobody knows what happened to the "e".
Miss Belly Fat AND The Brown Offenders
On Monday, we had our "girls accountability group" at Mists house. Since the majority of our girls crew has signed up to run "Bloomsday", I had the brilliant idea to meet early and go running. Four of us brave souls met in order that we could "train" together. Being the leader and only "veteran" of the run, I proudly answered any questions our troops had. On and on we ran effortlessly. Well, seemingly effortlessly. You see, I felt like crap. I don't know if it was the 4 miles Sock Fashion Expert dragged me on a day or two before or if it was just that I am not a morning person. Perhaps it was the girls stellar pace. For some reason I felt like I was dragging and we had only gone 1/2 mile. "This might not be pretty" I thought to myself. Obediently, my dog Libby, jogged beside me. Suddenly, she jolted to the left then right. She could see other dogs behind a fence and wanted off her leash. I fought to keep her in "heel" mode. "What a good dog you have" Sweet RoseMary" commented. She was our new recruit having only moved here this past year. I smiled, not having the energy to comment back. Soon we had reached our goal and I stopped "what now?" I asked, secretly feeling like vomiting. "We keep going" Mist informed nonchalantly running by me. I got back into the line up arguing with myself that I was indeed, capable. Then I remembered that all these girls are MUCH YOUNGER. "C'mon", Miss Belly Fat" moaned, "if we were 10-15 years younger like these girls, we could keep up - just give up and let them go". Miss Belly Fat always sounds plausible, but I can never listen to her no matter how good she sounds. On I plodded looking like an injured heifer amongst gazelles. Sweet RoseMary started laughing "your dog just shot poop at me" she informed me matter of factly. "I've never seen anything like that before". Sure enough, Miss Libby, knowing she was supposed to stay in step with me had shot out her load mid run. Perhaps she sensed my desperation in trying to keep up and was doing her best to slow my friend down. Sweet RoseMary dodged the doggie doo doo. Seconds later, a second deadly brown shot out at her again. Sweet RoseMary dodged again. Before long we were at the homecoming stretch and had reached a huge hill. "Is this as big as Doomsday Hill?" they wanted to know. "No", I proudly informed them. "Doomsday Hill is 10x that size". They all groaned. Soon we were running up it and I couldn't breathe. Libby started barking at the dogs behind the fence and I used the excuse to slow down. Now all the "Young Girls" were ahead of me and thinking I was having "dog problems". "Good Excuse" Miss Belly Fat reasoned. "Shut Up!!" I yelled back to my inner slob personality. "Now I have to catch up with them" I groaned back. "Why?" she said "You're older and rightfully slower". "Who needs enemies when I have her" I wondered. Libby and I plunged ahead not far behind.
After our Bible Study everybody wanted to hear more about "Bloomsday". The girls could hardly contain their excitement. Ominously Miss Belly Fat reminded me that this was only the beginning of the next several months. This fire started among my girlfriends would not easily be quenched. They were determined to run it with everything they had to offer and more, all of them wanting to impress their men. "Just think of what we will look like for swim suit season" I coaxed them. "Just think of how happy our men will be with our rock hard buns". "Stop it" Miss Belly Fat screamed!! "I wonder if they can hear her" I reasoned to myself. This pep talk was all the girls needed. Soon Elasta Woman was leading our entire Bible Study group in 200 combination Crunches and Fiery had escaped outside not wanting to witness this craziness. Rosemary's little boy crawled up between his mom and I saying "Poopie". A RANCID SMELL reached my nostrils. "I'm sorry" she panted between crunches. His bottom, the diapered offender was aimed in my direction. Now it wasn't just the crunches making me short of breath, it was the Dirty Diaper Offender. "Poopie" he said again trying to get his mom to stop her exercising. "Well I guess I won't feel so guilty about my dog shooting poop at her" I reasoned as I kept following Elasta Woman's moves. Miss Belly Fat was somehow drowned out in the terrible odor and I kept up...... well almost.