Imaginary and REAL Estate

Art Dog thinks his "funny" pose is his favorite.

As you may have noticed, I've been avoiding blog world lately. The longer the time goes by, the more I avoid it. It will take me FOREVER to catch up with every bodies blogs and my life has become a GIANT MONOPOLY GAME!! With every turn, a roll of the dice seems to bring fateful events, though, I keep singing that song "Deliver Me" from "Prince of Egypt", believing God will somehow deliver me out of this real estate NIGHTMARE!!
First of all, I didn't get my "dream house". My husband didn't have similar views of what was "perfect", and it went to another but not before I had marched around the property multiple times claiming it for God, anointing every room with oil and recruiting multiple intercessors to pray over the property. In short, I poured my heart and soul into it only to have to mentally "sow" it to somebody else. After all three offers we made, the dreaded phone call came that somebody else bid higher.........
I cried for days and pouted refusing to look at property altogether as if I was a 3 year old in a 38 year olds body - uh never mind. Anyway, once again, I pulled myself back together and began looking again. Everybody is rooting for me to find something and there is pressure on every side to just get in. This puts a lot of stress on me which is probably why I keep seeing giant monopoly pieces in my head.
Last Friday, The Archer graduated from his CNA training. On Monday, my son, The Archer started his orientation. Not wanting him to be driving the long hour and a half drive on winter roads, I took matters into my own hands and furiously rode to work (the hour and a half drive)with my husband with my jaw clenched. I was GOING TO FIND SOMETHING!! Eventually my husband asked me to refrain from such frightening poses, just kidding. Anyhow, I drove to every listing I could think of. Then I drove to EVERY REAL ESTATE PLACE in that town!! Most of the Realtors were polite, despite my low priced pre-approval bank letter. It was a little awkward saying stuff like "is there anybody in foreclosure?" "is there anybody who just wants "out"?" I put up embarrassing "fast cash now" signs on bulletin boards. Then I called every title company and even the courthouse looking for upcoming auctions. I exhausted every avenue i could imagine. The closest thing affordable was a metal pole building that had been converted to a house close to other houses. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't "it". There's also a nice house with a swing set 10 feet from a train track. The wind from the train could literally move the swing. I'm not kidding. I just can't stomach that for my kids.
Yesterday, we were in a far away city and my realtor called. He said there was house in town for a rock bottom cheap price. We drove for 4 hours to go see it. It was right in the middle of town, surrounded by houses and trailers. Two seedy looking men smoking cigarettes outside a near by trailer watched as we opened the door. I waved, feeling creeped out. How could I let my kids go outside? Rottweilers paced behind a fence directly behind. Would they get out? Would my dog bark at them all day? Walking through I kept telling myself "its not that bad". Really, it wasn't. It would have been okay in a different location. I could deal with all of its problems. I convinced myself we should take it. After all, I could walk to work. We argued about which "dirt cheap house" was the best deal. We drove to the river, since I need to be by water. It wasn't that far away. I told him we should "just do it". Finally we agreed. That night when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned. Then I woke up while it was still dark and went off to pray. I didn't have any peace. "I just can't do it" I told my husband. He was very quiet. I felt bad for dragging him there.
I won't even tell you about my tangled web of Realtors because I might overload your brain. I never meant to have more than one, but the more I asked around, the more they started calling and emailing. I appreciate all their info and encouraged them. The more help, the better, right? Of course, the original one is amazing and we both like him a lot. The others all have their own uniqueness and ability. I'm trying to follow up on all their leads. Uh, how do I keep them straight? Some of them are giving me the same information on the same places. I feel guilty because I hate to have somebody investing time in me who doesn't get paid. I told them that others are emailing me info - I want to be honest. It is fast becoming a tangled web and I have to fight daily to straighten it all out.
Still, the steadfast Word of God says to "Trust" and daily, I do, again. Even though I feel like the Israelites with the sea in front of me and the armies behind me, the song "Deliver Me" keeps resounding in my head and brings me comfort that God parted the waters for them and in His time, He will do the same for me.