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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Working Mom Blues and The Evil Real Estate Alien Octopus in the Sky

It is as if some alien force has taken over the real estate market and its long tentacles hold every house in its creepy spiralled tentacles taunting them in front of me........ just take last week for example.......

I got an "alert" that a house on "Flicker of Hope" Road was coming up. The alert came from none other than Fannie Mae herself. As the usual drill is, I call the "call such and such a person for information". "Such and such a person" does not respond to her voice mail EVER. She says to check with her office assistants on a pre-recorded message. I call her office assistants who divulge very little information. I decide to take matters into my own hands and go check out this "Flicker of Hope Road" house. I had to make an extended trip to town anyway, and had another house to look at anyway, so we embarked on our adventure.

First we had to make it down the wall of ice in our driveway. Fortunately, Sock Fashion Expert and the boys had hauled our bags down already. I just had Miss Moonbeam and was wearing spiked shoes for the occasion. Half way down the treacherous decent, my ice spikes failed me. Not willing to let go of Miss Moonbeam, my elbow cracked the ice hard and I began sliding down on my behind. Pain shot through my arm and my fingers felt tingly, but I was too afraid to notice. I still had to make it down the rest of the way and she was crying now. Inch by inch I lowered myself closer and closer to the waiting truck. It was a nerve racking way to begin the journey............

When at last, we had braved the hour out of the Montana wilds and had made it to the highway, I breathed a sigh of relief. Still my elbow ached, but at least we were off the ice. I found "Flicker of Hope Road" with great enthusiasm. "This has to be it" I reasoned to myself. Maybe this was my big break. Maybe this was my "Flicker of Hope" indeed. When I saw the big propane truck sitting there on the road, it should have been my first indication that something was amiss. Two other vehicles were sitting there too. I had happened to run into the "realtor's photographer" and some other pertinent lady. There was a big hoopla going on because the propane truck lady said it was too icy to deliver the propane to the property in question. Needless to say there was no way the real estate people were letting me go look. They decided it was too icy and deferred me once again to the lady who doesn't answer her phone. Now let me tell you, after what I'd just been through, this little jaunt would have been a walk in the park, but there was no convincing them.

Once again, the evil real estate alien octopus waved a "Flicker of Hope" and pulled it away again. I sat there in my truck, feeling rather defeated. Nothing I said could convince these bozos that it was plausible to just walk around the outside of the house and look at it. For Pete's sake, how long would they stay there taking pictures anyway? After all, Fannie Mae sent me a notice about it, right? Why would they send me a notice if they didn't want me looking? Scenarios flashed through my brain of black spy suits, flashlights and high tech spy ware I would need to go investigate out this property. Dramatic spy music seemed to take over the truck and I looked over wondering if I should implicate The Sock Fashion Expert in my sudden and supposed "crime spree" of looking at a property before it was "officially on the market".

Some where between the scenarios of me lurking around wearing spy ware and the crazy spy music, reason once again took hold of me and I knew that indeed, alien octopus had won this battle. Why should I act so crazy over a listing that may end up to have a price tag much greater than I could afford?

Half an hour later, I was picking up my husband to look at a quaint house in town. This was one our friends had looked at, made an offer on and were now backing out of. It was in a nice neighborhood, cheap and had a tiny yard but was big enough inside for all of us to fit. Did I mention it was CHEAP? I think we had already decided that we were going to make an offer long before we got there. Something about the almost impassable wall of ice we fight daily made the decision ahead for us. We walked through the house with wonder. Could we actually all live in here? No hoodlums nearby? No train tracks in the front yard? No squatters living in the basement? Perfect!! Lets get it!! Happy as can be, we secure the offer that day!! Oh joy!!

Every day after that, I imagined myself living in town. I was walking to the grocery store. I was riding my bike around pulling the baby in a bike trailer. The boys were walking to the river to fish. The dog even had this Prozac happy look in these fantasies as she had to be walked several times a day by always compliant children. In these wild fantasies, I go to "Zumba" with other nurses and do other "normal" activities that townspeople take for granted. My kids have real friends and do activities such as youth group and sports. On and on these fantasies went until the alien octopus struck once again!!!!!!!! Our friends changed their minds. They decided to go head and take the house.............Selah. Really, and truly, I love them and are very very happy for them. It will be a great investment and I know they won't go wrong with it.

And so with a pouty lower lip, I loaded up my bags and braved the driveway again. My arm still isn't right from last week and loaded under the weight of food, clothing and sleep gear it throbbed. Gingerly, I edged down the steep, snowy drive. It was no wonder that Miss Belly Fat won out tonight and conned me into buying some chocolate from the vending machine. And so, from fighting nameless Fannie Mae robots to making offers on houses that are otherwise taken, the giant alien real estate octopus laughs at my demise as I realize I have been once again, royally whipped. Alien octopus laughs and waves houses at me tauntingly. I wonder what new strategy, if any, that I can plausibly come up with.

"Is this the girl who left Minnesota with nothing?" He laughs. "Is this the girl who travelled India with all her small children in tow?" Ha ha ha. "Is she the one who fought red tape like the plague with her fire fighting business?" Giggle giggle laugh!! "Is this the girl who clawed through seeing her childrens injuries dissolve? "Is this the girl who refused to see defeat so many times before?" "Yes, she's the one" I whine. "I've fought better than you many many times before and I'm sure I will again". She winces. She knows I am a super alien fighter from many light years away. Still, she has the upper hands. I wish I could remember how Evil Real Estate Alien Octopuses are defeated. I will have to look to my super heroine manual and check back with you later.......... Oh..... thats right....... we do it the same way all the other bad guys are defeated. Remember God's goodness and deliverance in times past.....Trust Him and commit our ways.... and worship with passion like crazy....... silly me. Stay tuned for my next exciting adventure :-)

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death. - Rev 12:11

Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass - Ps 37:5

All the ends of the world Shall remember and turn to the LORD, And all the families of the nations Shall worship before You - Ps 22:27


Mamma has spoken said...

Hope your elbow gets to feeling better soon! Good luck with the house hunting. Too bad you don't live around here, it's a buyer's market!

MamaHen said...

I cannot even imagine how frustrating that would be.

So sorry about your elbow.

Amber said...

You sure are having a rough time of it with this house hunting stuff. I hope you find the perfect home soon!
And that your elbow feels better soon!

Heather said...

Oh, outdoor mom, I'm so sorry you lost that little house. I'm glad you're finding your hope in God. I just KNOW He has something for you! I pray you'll be able to rest as He provides it for you! I love you!

Becky said...

Remember my battle with the evil real estate monster? It was a battle that was bigger and lasted much longer than I ever imagined. Our 1st offer was beat. Our 2nd offer was too late. Our 3rd offer flew, but then died after the inspection. Our 4th & 5th offers were rejected and finally our 6th offer was accepted. We battled for nearly a year with the evil real estate monster and we learned so much. Hang in there and keep praying, the Lord definitely has a plan. ((hugs)) And pray that your elbow heals.