My Summer in a Nutshell

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It just hasn't been in me to write for a very long time. Of course when the weather is nice I NEVER want to be inside much less stuck in front of a computer. My creative flow gets a bit dwarfed and pales in comparison to the desperate bikini screaming from my closet that she must be in the sun NOW!!! You'd think she'd be grateful I got her out there, but she's just never satisfied. Once she's layed in the sun for a while, then she starts begging to go to the lake. I tell my kids that I have to take my bikini to the lake because she needs to go swimming and everybody shouts "hooray"!! Then it takes half an hour because the truck is piled high with assorted "necessities" and we are off to the nearest local lake.

My bikini momentarily becomes shy because instead of being at a remote lake in the Yaak, there are gawking fisherman loitering in her swimming area. She is disgusted she can't come out and must stay incognito. She pouts a bit warning me that I'm going to be all stuck full of wet yucky clothing if I don't get them off. Soon she and whatever choice of cover up I have are in a big brawl. I try not to attract a lot of attention. After all, the place we swim is a designated fishing area, but my bikini just doesn't buy it. She wants to be out swimming and no people or circumstances will stop her. She can't be reasoned with. She's a one girl show. There isn't any accessory clothing she gets along with.

Most of the time, the fisherman hear her growling and get nervous. They figure she's going to scare the fish away so the end up leaving. Then laughing fiendishly, before I know whats going on, she beats the crap out of my cover up top and water shorts and she's on the loose. Truth of the matter is, I've tried having relationships with an entire wall of bikinis in my closet but they're all the same. They are domineering and opinionated and can't be told "no" if the sun is out.

This problem with my bikinis takes a lot of the responsibility off of me. I never have to worry about modesty with them because they have no sense of propriety. They don't care if I'm all bloated with pms or not. They don't care how old I am or what my latest fat content is. There is just no reasoning in them. They never even told me that I had quite distinguished love handles. I'm pretty sure they knew, but they withheld the information on account of I couldn't see behind me and didn't know until I saw a picture of me at the Long Bridge Swim this year (ugh)! Anyhow, my bikini's, every last one of them are incorrigible and since we're placing blame on them today, I blame them for my lack of blogging this summer :-) Hopefully now that the lake here is cold and the boat isn't going out to Koocanusa on the weekends I can stuff them into a box and their screams will be temporarily muffled.