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Monday, November 2, 2015

The Upside of Disorder's Backside

Community Party
"You are going to dance with me Daddy"

Feisty "Elf Like Warrior"

Crafty Kay and her little one dressed as Glenda and Dorthy

Shopping with Crafty Kay
 I seem to be getting into a lot of trouble lately and I'm not exactly sure why.......It may have started on a recent "girls day" trip to town involving Krafty Kay, Elasta Woman, her mama and all our little girls.  We embarked on this adventure quite early in the morning.  Elasta Woman had insisted on leaving no later than 7 am in the morning.  This would have been possible had it not been the day that I was supposed to be ovulating.  This delayed my ability to find something suitable to wear quite substantially and I ended up panicking, wearing nothing but underpants as they pulled in the drive way, surrounded by duds.  Actually, I was not wearing underpants as I'd been unable to locate a single pair - instead I had dawned a binkini bottom in my rush.  The girls marched into the house while I frantically pulled on my 6th and final ensemble. 
    After the long and mostly uneventful trip to Sandpoint, we lounged about Starbucks until our girls began reacting to the sugary cocoa.  It was quite apparent when it was time to make the exit.  I had to make a quick trip to a large farm type store to pick up some stuff for my husband.  Since the women had Miss Moonbeamer, I didn't want to be gone for long.  I had selected my wares in record time, when the racks on the way out the door pulled me in.  Just like a giant invisible vacuum, sporty type girls stuff just pulls me in.  Soon I was racing back into to the store with a handful of stuff to try on.  Nobody seemed to be monitoring the dressing rooms and they were locked.  Being pressed for time, and having on leggings, I took it upon myself to displace my skirt and start trying them on in front of the dressing room mirrors.  A store clerk showed up quite mortified, but did not ask me to leave the store.  There are a lot of girls running around in just leggings - right?
   Once we got the preliminaries out of the way, we began trying on clothing at a nearby thrift store and that's where the chaos really began.  5 or 6 of us were all crammed into a dressing room, laughing hysterically with literal piles of crumpled up clothes thrown in every direction.  I honestly couldn't even find what I'd originally brought in with me, but since we were all trying on each others items, it didn't really matter.
     Miss Moonbeam and Miss Elf Like Warrior were running back and forth from the clothing racks to the dressing rooms and they were having so much fun finding clothes that we just let them.  They had settled on some cheaply made matching dresses and we were having all we could do to convince them that the dresses were not a good buy.
    Just as I got out of the dressing room pit, laughing hysterically, I was pushing my cart toward footwear when I heard the little girls running and calling out to me loudly.  They were white and terrified and yelled "someone just tried to take us!!"  "he tried to trap us!!"  I had never seen such terror on their collective faces and the terror hit me like a ton of bricks.  What was I thinking?!  Why was I so stupid to let them go to the racks by themselves?  I said fearfully "who tried to take you?"  They pointed at a man a few feet away and said "Him!!"  A man abruptly turned around and started walking the other way.  Rage exploded in me and I lost the capacity to do anything but pursue him, still clutching my little girls hand.  I started yelling at him and he started walking faster.  Then I started walking faster.  Soon I was yelling louder.  Then he was running and I was running.  Right through Goodwill you could see me snarling like a bear as I wildly chased this would be pervert.  My very strange behavior attracted the attention of the entire store.  Workers came from every direction and cornered the man.  As it turned out he was mentally handicapped.  I felt a little sheepish, but I stood my ground.  Soon a worker came who was supposed to be responsible and profusely apologized.  He kept his head down and didn't say a word.  I looked around imaging the scene I had probably made getting back to my girlfriends who were standing there perplexed.  All of them were upset, but none of them fathomed that I was going to go bananas, turning into the incredible hulk and go chasing after him.   Elasta Woman decided that it was time for us to go out to eat.  The store was unusually quiet and I couldn't help the feeling that people were still in a state of shock and horror at my pursuit of a mentally disabled individual.  It was definitely time to exit stage left.  The mortified, pale faced worker came to apologize to me again for her client's behavior.  I hugged her and told her I forgave her and was sorry for the situation.
   The little girls continued to cling to me and I honestly don't know if it was an honest mistake or not, but it shook them up.  They wouldn't let me out of their grip as we entered the Mexican Restaurant.  It was a rather odd sighting , me dragging along two children clutching each of my arms.  We were not there long before I proceeded to spill a glass of water all over the table.  It was a delicious meal.  Once the kids began drinking complimentary salsa, I knew it was time to leave.  I exited into a bathroom to stuff my leggings into my purse.  The weather was getting nice and I wanted to really feel the breezy warmth. 
   We went walking down the street and wrecked havoc in a yarn store.  I spent an unsightly amount of money on the yarn both as a de-stressing technique and also because I couldn't bear to put any of it back and I had formed a large mountain on the side of the counter.  As we waited for the rest of the gang to make their purchases, the little girls and I walked along the sidewalks of down town Sandpoint.  I was in all my glory, coming out of a candy store with fine chocolates.  The girls were excited to try them and I was caught up in the moment of rushing to get to the rest of the group and the beautiful day.  I may have missed any unsaid cue by the drivers and passers by.  I was flouncing around in my new thrift store skirt and the warm breezy fall day felt glorious.  Apparently I was enjoying the walk too much to notice that my new skirt was some how stuck to the back of my underpants - er swim bottoms, and I was displaying my backside to all of Down Town Sandpoint.  The women began laughing hysterically as Crafty Kay made this discovery.  I tried to distract them with the fine chocolate, but it didn't work.  Well, being unable to locate anything but swim bottoms that morning turned out to be a good thing.  Next time you mourn your lack of organization, remember that sometimes disorder all works out better in the backside of things - that is The Upside of Disorder's Backside.
The infamous Cheap Material Dresses

My husband's self storage unit in Yaak goes up

Drinking Complimentary Salsa

Girls Shopping Day



baili said...

hurry always makes me nerves and that madness create problems ,glad you had blst of fun ,thanks for lovely pics and sharing dear

Momma Bug said...

Oh Friend... I love you! I miss you (although that does seem strange since we've never really spent any time together ). Sounds like you've had a very eventful summer! You certainly know how to have fun :-)

Hugs as always,