A Trip to Town with The In Laws

At the crack of dawn, my husband awakened me for our yearly trip to town with the in laws. I rolled out of bed warily. One never knows what adventures may unfold on a trip to town with in laws.
For 2 days now, the in laws have been here. In past writings I have described my in laws to you, but for the sake of new readers, I will do so again. My father in law, "Papa Bobcat", is also "Papa Cool". He's no stereo typical run of the mill type grandpa. Nope, Papa Bobcat always means "fun" in a quiet kind of way. What other Grandpa is known for doing wheelies on his motorcycle up and down the highway to his house? This Grandpa takes the kids fishing, shooting and a variety of other really cool endeavors. He is very quiet, but don't let that fool you. As a kid, he was known for being pretty unruly. Papa has always made sure that our kids had access to motorcycles, fire arms and fishing gear. He, like my husband doesn't care for public places much, but will put up with them for a limited time.
Then there's "Grandma Gift Giver". I am convinced that her foremost and most favorite pass time is purchasing gifts for her grand kids. Growing up in a big family and marrying young, she worked hard to purchase a home and put herself through college. Knowing how difficult it was to raise her own kids, she supplies all her grand kids generously with clothing, shoes and a plethora of toys, candy and other articles of entertainment. Shopping with her is probably comparable to shopping with Santa Claus. She has energizer batteries when it comes to shopping.
At any rate, at the crack of dawn, I was up and getting ready for the big day. Though my joe had not fully kicked in, I was scurrying around like a squirrel trying to make sure that we had all eaten a good breakfast and had everything ready to go. Of course Moonbeam didn't want any part of my hurried behavior and demanded to be held. Without another thought, I thrust her quickly into my baby backpack with a kiss and continued my scurrying. The back pack that i pack her in has a pronounced metal bar that goes along the back of the pack. Its purpose is for holding up and supporting the pack while on a surface. Unfortunately, this particular model does not fold in while on. Since wearing it, it has caused me significant grief. Often in stores, I have sidelined shelves knocking off the wares. The only time that I actually appreciated being "a wide load" was when I was at the front of a mosh pit with my daughter this past summer. As I danced from side to side, crowding teens went flying backward into the the sea of bouncing fans giving my daughter and I ample space. Well, on this particular day, my "wide load" did me no favors. As I hurriedly carried a plate of steaming apple cinnamon muffins to the breakfast table, I bowled over my mother in law. Yes, its true. She went flying and eventually landed with a thud on the dining room floor. Oh the agony. Here I am trying to make my in laws a nice breakfast for the start of a fun day and in front of the entire family, I knock my mother in law over. This was not a good start.
Then lets take the drive to the big city, for example. No sooner did we leave the drive way, but "Miss Demanding", my bladder, decided she had to "go". This created a problem because it takes about 2 1/2 hours to reach the city. Add to that the men decided to take "the long way" and stopped each time they saw an interesting set of wild animal tracks. Not wanting them to make a special stop for me, I refrained asking for all of 20 minutes.
The gun show the men wanted to be at didn't start till later that afternoon. Because of this, they dropped us off at a store and we began shopping while they went off to do "man stuff". I saw many things I wanted to buy, but couldn't bring myself to buy any of it. I was reminded that I shouldn't be looking for things for myself, but for things for the Gift Giver. When she walks into a store, she is thinking of the Grand kids. When I walk into a store, I am thinking "oh i want that!". Not getting to town often, I am usually inundated and overwhelmed with bells, whistles, pretty colors and blinking lights. Fortunately, I did purchase her a fluffy, sparkly bat head piece at the dollar store to wear to work at the end of the month.
By lunch time, "The Gift Giver" announced that she was buying us all lunch. She took us to "Five Guys Burger and Fries". This was quite a step up from our regular routine of eating off dollar menus. We knew we were in for a treat when we smelled the yummy aroma. The kids thought it was particularly fun to eat the free peanuts and throw the shells on the floor. There are all kinds of free toppings you can choose for your burger. The patties are hand formed. The french fries are real - not those "fakie type re hydrated fries". As promised on the window, it was a "heavenly" burger experience. Moonbeam decided that she liked dipping fries in ketchup and mainly ate the ketchup. Otherwise, the rest of us left rolling out the door.
After dropping off the men at the gun show, we were off giggling wildly and in search of the nearest mall and book store. After driving around for some time, we found a book store that Sock Fashion Expert and Gift Giver wanted to check out. At my first impression of the place, I wasn't sure what to think. I asked for a bathroom and they told me they had to "make sure it was clean and get the dog out of there". Then another lady came out and profusely apologized that "the girls are taking a bath in there". I gathered that it was one of those "multi purpose bathrooms". I was ready to go, but paced with Moonbeam who had taken up fixation with a bucket that was catching rainwater in the middle of one of the book filled rooms. Just as I was about to take her out to the car, my daughter discovered a room with used home school books. It was full of Abeka, Bob Jones, Rod and Staff, etc.. Then nobody could drag me out.
At the mall, Gift Giver found great deals for Sock Fashion Expert at Pennies. She took Super Catman to a candy store. She knew just what to buy. At Claires we found divine green knit hats and in a moment of weakness, I purchased them. Sock Fashion Expert was thrilled, as she had wanted a stylish hat for near unto a year. After that, we shopped stylishly sporting them. Being red heads, Sock Fashion Expert and her Grandmother looked exceptional in them. Unfortunately, the boys were less than impressed calling them "funny looking" and "poop green". Undaunted, we left them on and kept on shopping.
As the day neared to a close, we made our last stop at Costco. I had noticed a week or more ago, that my glasses had little scratches or cracks all over them making it difficult at best to see clearly. Since I drive a long way to get there and work in an Emergency room, seeing stuff seems to be necessary. Though the lady told me that my warranty was expired, she took pity on me and agreed to send them in, eventually deciding to put them back under warranty. Wow, I was incredibly grateful. The only problem it posed was that I would have to shop and make it home till I could make it to my weaker ones. Since I wasn't driving, I figured I could risk it. Fear struck me, though, as I walked away seeing the world in a blur. No longer could I see prices or read lettering. I saw what looked like a man in flannel walking away. I yelled to him, hoping it was my husband, but he kept on walking. I didn't want to pursue him too much just in case he was a stranger thinking I was trying to pick him up. I continued on, seeing the world in a blur. It had been a long time since I'd been anywhere without my glasses. Fortunately, I ran into my mother in law (not knocking her over this time). It was pretty interesting buying groceries, but with every bodies help, I managed. I even managed to find a large cheese cake which is over half gone now.
Other than a traumatic experience at Target which I will not discuss, we had a pretty good day. All in all, the trip was a success and we had fun. On the way home, the men eyed a coyote road kill, but I encouraged them to leave it there. "The Archer" pined over its hide. I suppose we are a bit like the Beverly Hillbillies, but that's o.k.. I'm not sure what is more entertaining - us experiencing the city, or the city experiencing us.