A lot to be Thankful for.....

This is my husband's entire clan. We have never ALL been together for an entire day, since before there's been several children. It was a day God especially touched........

The oldest and youngest grand daughter......

The three brothers - having a good time!

Parents and kids.....

My In laws with all their grand kids!

Sock Fashion Expert played while a cousin dances..........

She and Her Papa have a special relationship.....

The Cousins ADORED each other..........

We were invited for her 3rd Birthday Party.........

My husbands brother, wife and baby.....

Grandpa loves playing with his grand kids!

Grandma never stopped smiling - THE WHOLE DAY!

The Boys Hiked in the frozen swamp bogs at my in-laws. Here's an owl who answered their calls......

Driving out of our mountains.......... To the Land of 10,000 LakesAfter the 20 some hour drive and 12 hour birthday party, everybody was exhausted........

After days of packing and organizing, we ALL loaded into our big ol' Suburban and headed to town to pick up my husband's bachelor brother "Chet". I wasn't sure how spending 20 some hours would go with all of us cooped up together, but it went just fine. We pulled into my husband's middle brother's home. It was an amazing and extra special day, especially for my husband's parents who got to have all their kids and grand kids together for the WHOLE DAY.

After that, we drove another 3 hours to my in laws place. Its been a really nice visit here too. Every day The Sock Fashion Expert and I have broken records running on the long, flat highway in front of their house. Today, for the FIRST TIME EVER, we ran 6 miles together. Its a good thing too, because we have been eating from an incredible and never ending feast.

Chet hadn't been back in 10 years or more. It was really extra special just to have him hanging around with us. I marveled in the little things, like the basket ball games the whole family played together, and the times he did simple things like taking out the trash. Every day seems to be a constant reminder that God is faithful to His Word.

I am also doing an Internet class daily, and am reading a lot of good books. One that has been particularly stretching is called "The Excellent Wife". Though the words can be hard to take, and I don't agree with all of it, it is a big eye opener to me. Where I once truly believed that I was an exceptional woman, I find myself sadly lacking in many many areas. Not to be down on myself or anything, I am just seeing a lot of error in my ways, and that is a good thing. We must all remain teachable if we truly want to experience all God has for us :-)

Today us girls went shopping in town. Moonbeam has been reciting "I want to go shopping with Bhama!" for the last 6 months. Today she finally got to. Generously, my mother in law shared us with my sister and her kids too. Once we met them at the mall, we didn't shop much after that..... I had to whisk those cute little cherubs away for ice cream the first second my sister turned her back ;-) We spoiled all the girls rotten with toys, crowns, balloons, pin wheels and whatever else. I wildly skipped and sang down the aisles of the stores crazily pushing the girls in the cart as they laughed hysterically. Then we went to the spectacular Green Mill Restaurant over looking lake Bemidiji and dined in front of panoramic lake view windows. The food was incredible.

Tomorrow we're heading out to see friends, then family, then more family, and then more family before we head back here. Its a little bitter sweet packing up, but I know Chet and his parents will have some good times together while we're gone AND they'll enjoy us again when we're back for a few more days. As I sit here and type, the Sock Fashion Expert strums her beautiful melodies, my Mother in law puts away the rest of her strawberry shortcake, (which, by the way, she's been making me for 22 years), and the rest of the family mills around quietly. There is no question in my mind that God is faithful. His promises are true and He makes them available to anybody who chooses to receive. I've been "coming home" to my in laws place since I was 16 years old. It feels just a little bit like coming back to God despite all the many roads I've travelled and lives I've lived. It just feels right.............

Working Mom Blues and The Time Jam

Figured I'd add a few more party pics up here................

Being the part'e chick that I am, I had decided to do a double header. On Saturday, was The Sock Fashion Experts surprise party. On Sunday was my husbands. We will be travelling out of state on their real birthdays and I was to start my stretch of 3 - 12 hour night shifts right after the weekend ended, so Sunday was the only day available! It actually helped a little doing it that way because each of them knew the other one was getting a surprise party. That gave them no suspicion for my secretive phone calls and plan coordinating.
Sunday Morning, bright and early, we headed out for church. After church, some of our close friends headed over to hang out with us. I made home made egg rolls and stir fry. The Sock Fashion Expert made an incredible Angel Food Cake with Home made ice cream, whipped cream and strawberries - Amazing! My friends helped me cooking in the kitchen too. After we gals got out for a quick hike, the men went out shooting. Then we all watched a movie together and some more people came up and crashed the party.

I tried to treat my husband like a king by dishing up his dinner and giving him the biggest plate of dessert and being attentive to his needs in front of his friends. Then I sat on the floor while he watched the movie and massaged his feet. After that I snuggled with him. He seemed to look satisfied and happy most of the day. I like that look.......

Monday was our accountability group and I had suggested we write 40 attributes about our husbands to share. We read from "Sparkling Gems", "The Power of a Praying Wife", and the Bible. It was a good group and we bonded in prayer. Then I rushed out to get ready for work. After my 3 shifts are over, I will have one day to pack before we head off out of state on another colorful adventure along with my husbands brother, Chet! Crazy Upside down busy!

The house has become a place of disarray, but there is not a thing I can do about it. Thankfully the new washer and dryer can do ginormous loads and my dear husband did some while I've been gone. Miss Moona looked rather sticky and cruddy yesterday when I took her outside for a short bout with fresh air but I didn't have time to give her a bath. Then when I was getting my work stuff together I found her eating a jelly sandwich which I never gave her - ugh! School fell behind as well. I ended up having to take it all to work with me so I could get it corrected and assigned. Amazingly the kids have kept up and then some. They are knocking off subjects like flies. When we get back 2 of the 3 will be down to half time days. Amazing!

Stay tuned for a lot of excitement and adventure in the next few weeks as we make our way through the Land of 10,000 lakes.................................

"Those darn crackers, they will be the downfall of civilization" - That co-worker

The Surprise Party Concert Extravaganza!

On Saturday, and what would later be referred to as "The Best Day of Sock Fashion Experts Life", our family and some friends drove the Suburban down to the nearby city. The Sock Fashion Expert was thrilled to be going to see Holly Starr in concert (as pictured above). She didn't know it, but a bunch of her friends were waiting for her at the local pizza joint. The entire place was decorated with helium balloons, colored popcorn, and presents galore. A beautiful cake sat displayed in a prominent place at the head of ALL the tables which had been pushed together. I had arranged the whole thing with her friends via Face book under the radar of her knowledge. As we neared the pizza joint, we playfully argued about where to eat at. After lengthy, playful bickering, I placed a fake order over the phone for a few pizzas. It was really a secret signal to a private cell phone that we were 5 minutes away.........

She noticed some friends of ours in the parking lot. "Look who's here" she said. "Everybody likes pizza" I murmured nonchalantly as we got out. Secretly, I was programming my camera for video behind her. I got it on just as she walked through the door. Her friends were all standing there to greet her. She wondered what everybody was doing there - and whose birthday it was - lol!! When she finally realized it was her special day, the smile never left her face. Crazy girls giggled and chatted incessantly. Delicious bread sticks and pizza were gobbled down amongst laughter and smiles. The festivities never seemed to end and neither did the glow on her face. When it was all over, the girls hung out together and my boys even tagged along while we ran off to do some errands.

That evening we met back together for the concert. It was an awesome show! Holly Star is a great singer with depth, conviction and incredible talent. The presence of God came down into the building, and the whole thing just seemed serene. Of course The Sock Fashion Expert, Archer and the gang were all up front jumping around and having a good old time, but for once I didn't feel the need to be up there with them. I was content sitting in back with my man. His arm was around me and he was whispering something in my ear. Moonbeam fiddled under the seats. Mist and Fiery were in the same set of seats with us cradling their beautiful little baby boy. Elasta Woman and Matthew were across the aisle with littlest one in tow. The Sock Fashion Expert had taken their other girls up to the front with her. After all the fun rock music ended and worship echoed all over the auditorium, I put my hand up in the air, not caring that I was probably the only one. I was thankful to God and I intended to worship openly. He delivered me and protected my family through horrible terrible trials. What was there to be ashamed of? For a small moment of time, things just seemed right.............................

I didn't stay in the cabin as long this time. It was hard, but I am learning Gods Grace as I forgive and I am seeing His Power at work. That second time, I don't think it left anything internal. It was like a gut hook ripped out what was left from inside me, yet I lived..... With forgiveness permeating the darkness, there was no foothold for it to stay. Repentance came and the friend began to transform, as did i. No longer would the contracts stand, God stepped in to intervene. Where sin abounds Gods Grace abounds more, and that was all that remained. The angel came back and helped me burn the evil. Though the fear still sometimes presents itself, light remains, ever pushing the darkness back and bringing with it yet more light.

Supernatural things began occurring and hearts changed as the contract with darkness was destroyed. I saw my own errors in not truly showing love where it should have been rightly given and I amended my ways. What the devil meant for ultimate destruction, God redeemed, and hope began to birth new life. Though it will be and has been a hard hard road, I am glad God worked in it all. Had it never happened, I would never have known God's delivering power in those days of darkness and neither would my friend. Everyday God slowly replaces my heart with one that has new depths and abilities to love unconditionally..... May we now stay in the light and never go back to those days behind us. May we live again and may the children of future generations never know those haunting present evils....

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

darkness falls again....

more dressing room fun

mtn goat on the way home from the big city

"After two days He will revive us (quicken us, give us life); on the third day He will raise us up that we may live before Him." Hosea 6:2
"The Lord has broken through my enemies before me, like the bursting out of great waters, so he called the name of the place Baal-perazim (The Lord of breaking through)." - 2 Sam 5:20b

In other news, I am planning to construct a cheese cake today. I am also making "mahi mahi". Very exciting. My dear husband and I enjoyed a nice walk yesterday. Spring is in the air. The eldest three kids went off to youth group last night. It was the first time EVER!! I'm so happy for them getting to have some fun with others. Its about time. It also left me and my love with the youngest two only for the evening..... Super Catman played video games. Miss Moona goofed around and I got my husband all to myself ;-)

peas in a pod and darkness

The girls asked to go to "baby jail" together. Not sure why.....

They were born just a couple of months apart. Its been fun watching them grow up together. A lota "love hate relationship" has gone on ;-)

Moonbeam is always excited to see her, but then quickly becomes perturbed - lol!!

"Mom get me outa here NOW before she kisses me - ewww!!!"

Too late.........

One day I found myself in a dark, walled cabin. There was no way out...... It was a living hell! I was paralyzed with fear and it clouded my judgment. The more I thrashed around, the bloodier my arms and legs became. The walls closed in on me and I thought I might suffocate. The darkness got darker and darker until I couldn't see my hands in front of my face. Years before that, darkness always came and went. I didn't know what it was. I just knew it was there. I didn't understand it, though I asked God to reveal it many many times. Then one day He did............ Soon after that it consumed me. I was in utter blackout. There was no way out. I began to think only death would separate me from it, but then I saw a glimpse of light. Here and there little cracks of light came through. The shadow lands held me tight, though. They consumed me, threatened me and overwhelmed me. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't focus. Without kinds words and loving prayers, it may have taken me for good, but God was faithful. Even though it still paralyzed me often, He lead me to the cracks of light. He showed me where to breathe to get the most oxygen. He quieted me so I wouldn't thrash and bleed. Then one day, He showed me the door. It was bolted, but in my mind, I could escape. The more I focused on the light, the more transparent the walls became until I saw that they could no longer hold me. Those walls still exist. They still seek to contain me daily. Many days I shake uncontrollably as the darkness falls. Many days I can feel the paralyzing, suffocating fear. Many days, the shadow lands pursue me, but I know the light. Had the darkness not fully enveloped me, I could never truly have broken free. I wouldn't have ever fully understood those long years of shadows behind me. God heard me in the shadows. He heard me in my prison too. He let me walk there for a time, so I would understand true freedom.............

Am I free? Its a matter of my choice. I chose to be. The shadow lands are only a step behind me most of the time. A wise woman told me "The only way to combat a lie is with the truth." She told me some other things that helped me. She said that "Learning to replace lies with the truth found in God's Word is the only way to rebuild a house that is sturdy enough to withstand the extreme pressures of life." She told me that "Hearing the truth is not, of course, always painless, but it brings us freedom." The wise woman showed me a way out, but it was one with a lot of pain, for every time I leave that dark place, I see a part of my heart laying there on the floor, dead. The cabin ripped my guts out. It really did. Some how, i can walk around in the light without them all. An invisible cautery stopped the bleeding. An invisible hand seems to keep my heart beating. It somehow keeps me going. But, sure enough, back there are my guts laying all over the floor. I don't know what the future holds, but I am alive for now. The light seems to pierce back that darkness and requires me to keep going............

"We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of the life shaped by Christ." - 2 Cor 10:5


Now that you have read from my dark side, I suppose we must find something to laugh about :-) I am really enjoying the new car my husband bought. Of course, its not new, but its new to us. Its fun to drive. Its low on gas mileage. Its black and kinda cool looking. Anyhow, I pulled it up to the gas pump that same day I was telling you about the beer/worm/fish story. After carrying my h'um package, to the car, and prepaying for gas, I got ready to put some gas in. I eyed the dash for the gas flipper thingy. Nothing. I looked around. Nothing. I looked back on the dash board. I looked back around everywhere. UGH! I got out and looked for a key spot. Nothing. I had already pre-paid for the gas. ARUGH! I was starting to get flustered. That gas station lady must think I have serious problems - first it takes me 20 minutes to buy beer. Then I can't figure out how to put gas in my car?!? "Breathe" I commanded myself. I looked over the dash again. I looked all around.

Time stopped. Here I am, the hospital supervisor.....the emergency room RN and I can't find the fricken gas flippy thing. I'm supposed to be smart enough to independently solve problems that arise, assist in complex medical procedures, calculate and give medications, and in general, be capable of saving lives and here I am unable to figure out how to get the gas thing open?!?! Pathetic. Just pathetic. I couldn't stand the thought of asking some passerby to help me find the gas thingy. Finally I got my cell phone out and phoned my dear husband. I was already cringing, with the idea I was going to get lovingly teased. While the phone rang I stepped out of the car, guiltily observing my "bag" in the back seat. I surveyed the scene rationally. That's when I finally saw it! On the outer side of the drivers side seat along the floor board was the gas flippy dealy. "What kind of moron designed that?!" I wondered to myself, relieved. My dear husband answered the phone. I considered breathing heavy and hanging up..... just kidding. We have caller id. Then I told him my tale of woe.......... He didn't tease me....too much ;-)

Working Mom Blues and hell is still passing.....

Silly Mom and Girls in the Dressing Room!

My Friends and our kids on a walk :-)

I haven't blogged much for a while. I've had a lot of ups and downs and still am recovering from the hellish past, but things are getting better and i am on the mend :-)

In other news, my dear husband put in our new and newly replaced drier again today! This time it has heat - hooray! Oh wow was it EXCITING to do laundry :0)

On one of my last work stretches, I was pretty emotional, but holding my own. After a nerve wracking few hours at work, I settled down to eat my lunch. I couldn't wait! My daughter, The Sock Fashion Expert had beer battered cod and onion rings! We don't normally keep beer in the house so I had to go and buy some so she could make the stuff. I felt scandalous going into the gas station to buy beer before work. I looked around to see if anybody was watching. I couldn't figure out what kind to buy. Then I wondered if people would think I was loitering around beer! After that, I finally grabbed some and took it up to the counter feeling wary, but trying to keep my cool. I asked for a bag to put it in. Then I discreetly put a newspaper over the top of the bag before leaving. Like some passerby was going to look into my bag and gasp or something - lol!! All night at work, I wondered if somebody would happen by my car and discover that BEER was in there - lol!! Yes, as you may remember my imagination was, as usual, overactive. So as I was saying, fast forward to the next 12 hour night shift and I was on my way in with hubby. He was driving me. I was so excited about eating my beer battered food that I had scarfed down all the onion rings before they ever made it to work. After my first few stressful hours, I had kept in the back of my mind "beer battered cod! Woohoo!!" So here I was around midnight. I had microwaved the beautiful creation and diced up into my big salad. I had taken great pains to add candied almonds, vinaigrette dressing, feta, bell peppers, all the fixings........ Mmmm..... OH MMMM...... My co-workers eyed me greedily wishing they, too, had beer battered cod. I decided to take my food back to my work station. I was GOBBLING it down, attempting to comfort medicate myself and destress as I ate each flavorful, luscious bite. Just as I got to the next forkful of fish, I noticed a strange apparition on it. I moved it with my fork. It looked coiled. I picked it up with my fork. It was a coiled up WORM!! My heart sank and my stomach lurched. My beautiful salad was in the garbage, and its heavenly odor was now making me gag. I looked over the worm again. It was huge as far as food worms go. It was coiled up over and over and looked fresh, though didn't seem to be moving. I'd never seen one like it in any salad I'd ever eaten. It had been sitting on my fish chunk. I didn't have any idea how it could have looked so perfect had it been beer battered. I gulped again. It didn't matter where it came from, it was disgusting. Next, I took it out to the main nurses station and tried to get my co-workers to identify it. Nobody would. They were all too grossed out. Next time a patient came in, I tried to shove it into the Doctors face to take a look. He didn't want to see it either and joked about it being "protein". Oh it was a disturbing dining experience to say the least!

I took it home in the container to show my family but no one would look at it either. My husband, who was driving, didn't want to see it just then. The kids eating their cereal didn't want it. I set the container on the window sill. The next day when I got home, the container was gone. I asked who took my worm. Nobody knew. I looked around and found it in the sink. I took the container back out and put it back on the window sill. The worm was rather shrivelled in appearance by now. I wondered to my self "why I am I still saving this worm?" I asked my husband if I should take it to Costco since the salad and fish had come from there. He said "NO". Then I thew the container and worm away. The end.

We had fish again yesterday. This time it was pre-breaded halibut. I didn't eat much of it, and I took tiny tiny forkfuls - ew! As if I needed something else to be paranoid about! Well anyway, I am happy to report that I am at work tonight and I contain no fish. I did make a salad, but I wiped off each leaf thoroughly. Well, that's about it. I hope you are not too badly traumatized by my story ;-) Until next time, may your food be wormless and your days full of hope........