My "Happy New Year" Blue Moon Salt Coma and Poop in the Sink

"Salt is my friend" I rehearsed to myself as I consumed my 3rd piece of pizza. Nurse "Sweet n Smiley" brought in pizza for us all. Her husband is the ER MD of the night and she wanted to see him "before next year". "Hooray, it's a Blue Moon New Year's Party!" she chimed. I smiled, enjoying my salty pizza just a little too much. Secretly, I had an ulterior motive. Its the beginning of our biggest loser competition at work. I couldn't help but hope to retain some water weight. My prior plans of PMS bloat had come and gone just days before. Armed with several bottles of water, I began drinking liberally. Yes, I am a bit too competitive and possibly even a bit deranged.
It all goes back to a biggest loser contest I participated in at another hospital a few years ago. We did "biggest loser teams". That summer I lost about 35 lbs. I was soo excited to be becoming thin. On the last day of the contest, my partner, nurse "Go Trojans" and I had the biggest combined weight loss. I had it all planned what I was going to do with the money. Yes, I wanted to pierce my belly button! Anyway, some turkey weighed in and found out he was just a pound or two behind us. The lady keeping score let him come back multiple times!! He ran around all day in the hot sun and ate nothing. After repeatedly weighing in, he came in less than a pound under us and won the pot. Oh I was so mad. My partner was furious. She called me to discuss this problem. With less than an hour to go of the day (and not having been informed of this turkey's tactics), I wasn't going to drive back to town with the hopes I had lost more weight that day. My friend, almost in tears offered to give herself a suppository and weigh in again wearing nothing but a swimsuit. This was getting too crazy. It just wasn't worth it. The weight I'd lost was for me. Prize or no prize, this is where I was. My weight was prize enough. Later that week, I cheered up my glum friend by awarding her with a gigantic Zucchini dressed in a yellow bikini with sunglasses on. I wrote a crazy poem to go along with her (the zucchini) recapping her near exploits with the suppository. That was then, this is now.
Yes, I began to suspect I'd gone too far when I felt like I was waddling up and down the hospital halls. I had managed to drink all the water I'd brought in with me. I'd liberally eaten salty food for the past few days. I've never tried to gain weight before. Anyway, when I stepped on the scale I was shocked, pleased and feeling slightly guilty. I'm pretty good at gaining weight, I guess. Now to lose. I can't bear to re-adjust my weight loss ticker upwards, especially when this salt coma was intentionally induced.
I also haven't gotten to exercise for the past couple of days. I'm on a rare stretch of 3 - 12 hour shifts in a row. I barely have time to eat, sleep and get back to work. On my second day of the stretch, my extra half hour was used up giving Moonbeam a bath. She was cruddy and sticky. My husband, Mr. Mom, had informed me when I'd gotten up "Moonbeam hasn't pooped today". You've gotta love it when a man notes his children's bowel patterns. Sure enough, while I sipped my coffee watching Moonbeam splash in the water, something ominous occurred. Super Catman yelled in a horrified tone "Mom! Moonbeam just pooped in the sink!" So she had. I feared no child of mine would ever do dishes again and hurriedly sought to remove the offender before anybody else discovered it.
Yesterday, the kids and I all worked together on homemade cheese burgers and french fries. Yes, salt. Anyhoo, my friend nurse "Generous Geo" went out on a moonlight ski tonight and I was jealous. I no longer wanted to waddle around in a salt coma, rather I wished to be out skiing by the light of the full moon. I have this motivation to look forward to along with almost 2 weeks off now. It will be a great way to start off the new year. My bloggie buddie, Prarie Chick, also offered a resolution of having and choosing joy in every activity. I love that! What a great resolution to have. I'm going to copy cat that too ;-) May all of your 2010 ADL's (that's a nurse lingo for "activities of daily living") be filled with joy!! Happy New Year!!

Jumping on the "Everybodies Doing It" BandWagon!

OK, so not "everybody" is doing it, but Foodie Girl and CMoursler are. Close Enough! I'm gonna "jump on" since just a few posts away I was "drowning in lard"!! Here are my 10 Challenges (some copied ideas from the girls) :

1. Some form of exercise 6 days a week.

2. Sit ups 5x a week. This is for sure the spookiest of all goals because I can never seem to find time to do that!

3. Instill some healthy idea in my kids daily! For instance "wouldn't you like a carrot stick honey?" Moms are so terrible!

4. OK, OK, a before and after pic (ugh)!

5. Drink more water. Minimum of 3 glasses, but hopefully more!! Mandatory Fruit and Veggies Daily!!

6. Burn calories rather than binge them under stress!! This may be harder than the sit up challenge!

7. Do something with my hair before the 10 weeks is up.

8. I'm signing up for the "Biggest Loser" challenge at work. Wow, the pressure is on!!!

9. Once a week workout with my workout Buddie.

10. Try on clothes when I'm out shopping and maybe even force myself to buy something once in a while.

*Oh and Ugh!! I put up a weight loss ticker. Again, I am copying these girls. It is just a little bit frustrating, because I should be at 10 more pounds of weight loss! Yes, I have to re lose 10 pounds :-( Wahh! Who wants to re lose?! Totally been there. Well, better than re losing 20 I guess. Anyway, my ticker reluctantly up. The New Year is upon me and the pressure is on!

My Weight Loss Support Group Pre-Update

It has been a long time since I updated you all on the progress of my women's weight loss and fitness group. In my November post I dazzled you all with our exciting first meeting. Myself, my friend who I have deemed "Silver bell" and another woman who showed up to visit and really wasn't interested in losing weight at all. Well, our pilgrimage continues. We had Agreed upon January as being our official shopping month. The idea of buying some Valentines lingerie was our original intent (as motivation for weight loss), but as the day approached we unanimously settled on more concealing attire. Christmas took it's toll in even our most dedicated members.
Though we had had intent of eating healthy, a Mexican restaurant called our names and we were found to be gorging on the delicacies within. To make matters worse, my good friend Silver bell offered to buy us Burgers and Fries on the way home. It was almost scandalous! We abandoned the idea that the shopping trip had a weight loss agenda at all.
Not to be discouraged, we gained a new member. I will call her Hazel. She's a very dear friend. Though she has the figure most women would kill for, we have embraced her into our group despite this obvious flaw. She is interested in fitness and God and everything else that our group has to offer (other than weight loss). Hazel, Silver bell and I will be meeting this Thursday to commence progress. Silver bell ordered Jenny Craig this week (God rest her soul). I am over half way through my white sugar fast. I have lost 2 lbs per week thus far. Hazel is planning to teach me the essentials of how to go about constructing "sprouts". This is a good method for fresh food when you are living in as remote a place as we do. The idea frightens me, but I will try to be brave.
Sprouts have been attacking me in my sleep again lately. They curl their evil tendrils around my throat as I snore soundly. The jar starts shaking and they come alive. Oh the horror. Hazel assures me that sprouts are only babies and cannot harm me. I will update you on our progress when the meeting has transpired. I will broach the subject of "Nerdic Walking" but I suspect it may be once again ignored.

Week One of Sugar Fast Completed

Well I'm at the end of my first week of sugar fasting. My mom is at the end of her first week as well. Around the third or fourth day I got kind of irritable and fuzzy. Other than that, it really hasn't been bad. Of course I have been at home all week and haven't had too many temptations. I've lost a good solid 2lbs or more. Also I have lost a few inches as well. The pants I bought on my MN trip are falling off of me in a most unbecoming way. I am also starting to feel more energy. Enough about me. My mom said she noticed that she has a strong sense of "well being". I am so glad about this. Tomorrow is my birthday. Some friends and I are going out shopping for the day. That will most likely be a little more challenging.

I think this has got to be the most boring post ever. I'm going to post it any way for the sake of keeping track. I've enjoyed a lot of good out door time this week.

"Flames Come Out My VCR" and The Glycemic Index

I once met a man with burnt eyelashes, eyebrows and a shocked look on his otherwise pleasant demeanor. "Flames come out my VCR" he informed me. After thoroughly caring for him and exploring the possibility of airway edema, I further questioned him. "So, unprovoked, flames came shooting at you out of your VCR? Can you elaborate on this, sir?" I was quite skeptical in the matter. The only medical history that he gave me was "accident prone". He went on to say that he had been cleaning his VCR with compressed air. He was attempting to look inside and since he didn't have a flashlight handy, "Boom!", the match gave him a very short and powerful view.

Since I am on a sugar fast, and my brain may be functioning slightly below par, allow me some grace to expound. I will now explain why this story is pertinent. If your body was a furnace, wood would be it's medium of energy for producing heat. Paper, gasoline, compressed air, birch bark and host of other highly flammable materials would provide "a fast burn". Logs, however, especially good hardwood would cause a nice slow burn lasting many hours. The bi product of a good burning wood is clean. The bi product of gasoline, some oil rags, and possibly a can of compressed air would be more flammable and explosive in nature. It would also leave a stink in the air. If you put paper and gas in your wood stove every hour, you would constantly be restarting the stove. If you eat sugar cereal for breakfast, frozen pizza for lunch and McDonald's for dinner, you are doing a similar job on your body. It suffers ups and downs all day long. It gets a "fast burn" and has little sustainable. It is also full of hazardous bi products. This is my very limited explanation of the Glycemic Index. If you eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains, meats and dairy products in proper balance, you will have a sustainable burn. This burn is appropriate to health, weight management and over all good mental functions.

Here are some links on the Glycemic Index.
http://www.glycemicindex.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glycemic_index

http://diabetes.webmd.com/glycemic-index-good-versus-bad-carbs

God gave us foods at varied glycemic index levels to help us have "good burning woodstoves" consistent with good mental, emotional and physical functioning.

Another Good Reference to learn from is "Feel Great Look Great" by Joyce Meyer.

Why a Sugar Fast?

Well, I'll tell you. Let me start with my testimony. I was getting rather huge a couple of years back and under a lot of stress besides. I had tried many diets to lose weight and they just didn't do a lot for me. I got so desperate, I finally cried out to God and asked Him to help me. Sitting out on the deck that day, looking out at the lake, I heard this distinct inner voice tell me to "take the summer off from sugar". I knew it wasn't my flesh, because it knew better. I thought about binding the devil, but he knows better too. It couldn't be psychosis because, though I was under a lot of stress, I was still in my right mind. Yes, it was the BIG GUY UPSTAIRS giving me this strategy.

Now I had tried this once before for a few days (when I discovered that I was consuming as many calories in desserts as I was in food). This was a horrible reality check for me because I found that way to much of the joy in my life was wrapped up in these foods!

As I said before, I didn't think that this was possible, but I was sure that it was God. We know with Him, indeed, all things are possible.

So I went about fasting from all concentrated sweets. Amazingly, God gave me the grace to do it. I also watched labels. I avoided foods that contained sugar and high fructose corn syrup. You would be surprised how many foods contain sugar!!! I also added exercise, prayer and many more whole grains, fruits and vegetables. I was under so much stress and difficulties that I had no control over. I found comfort knowing that though I had no control of my circumstances, I could control what I was putting in my mouth. I also drank mammoth amounts of water. Every time I stepped on the scale, it went down. It was the first time in my life that I was success full at losing weight. After 2 1/2 months, I had lost 30 lbs and another 5 lbs not long after. Before my last baby, I was at a 42 lb weight loss. I have NEVER gained that back. Even at full term with Moonbeam, I was less than I weighed before the first fast. Of course I DO have baby weight to lose. I've never made it to my goal weight, but I am so much closer than I was a few years back.

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If concentrated sweets and sugar are not your vice, then by all means find something else to fast from. If it's computers, fast from computers. If it's coffee, then coffee. If it's wearing plaid then go stripes for a while. There's no hard fast rules about what to fast from. It's more when the pleasures we enjoy begin to infringe upon our freedom in Christ, then a fast is in order. For me, I was feeling enslaved by fat. Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers were heavy and diabetic. My mother has also wrestled with weight all her life. It's a hereditary curse that I am striving to break free from. I want better for my children.

I learned that my body liked desserts and refined foods because it is lazy. It wants the fast burn. Sustainable burning foods such as whole grains, vegetables and meats make my body work harder to process. Giving it sugar all the time sabotaged any fat loss attempts because it didn't have to work to process complex carbs for energy. Living on a constant sugar high predisposes us to obesity and a host of other health related issues. Not to mention moodiness, depression and anxiety. I was shocked to consistently feel good. I was amazed all arthritic symptoms left my body. Most of all, my favorite thing was how my husband acted around me. I will say no more.

Really, you can execute a sugar fast however you want. I do not believe that all sugar is created equal. I recommend eating fruit. I believe that the fiber is beneficial to a healthy diet. I use stevia, honey, maple syrup, apple sauce, bananas and raisins to sweeten foods. I try not to use excessive amounts of them though.

Ok, well enough of this post. You get the idea. I will also add that I saw God move in many ways for me. When we are weakest in the flesh, we are strongest in spirit :-) When I feel my sugar intake is getting out of control, I begin a new sugar fast. Sometimes all it takes is a week to get back on track. So far, I have found that a month long, once a year is quite beneficial for me. I hope that I can be of some help to someone. I feel excessively grieved to see "fat America" in the emergency room for mental and physical problems related to obesity. I want to make a difference for some one. This is why I decided to blog about it and make my strange traditions public.

Isaiah 61:3-5 (New King James Version)
3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.” 4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins, They shall raise up the former desolations, And they shall repair the ruined cities, The desolations of many generations. 5 Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, And the sons of the foreigner Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.