This is how it started..... I was born into a home full of females. 1. My mother of course 2. My grandmother 3. My Aunt. Eventually, my sister, who is 7 years younger than me replaced my aunt. There were never any men in the equation. My experiences in Kindergarten were sketchy. My first distinct recollection of male interaction (other than with uncles and such) was a boy I called "charcoal booger". I called him this because he always had green snot running down his nose and his last name reminded me of charcoal. I will not elaborate any further on him other than to say that he once said to me in gym class "hey baby lets smooch". This was a shocking thing to hear as a kindergartner, particularly because of the green snot visualization. From then on, I developed an aversion to the male species. God does have a sense of humor, and gave me a husband (who came from an all boy family) along with 3 sons. I have since come to appreciate the male species because of this. However, in most of my growing up years, I experienced extreme anxiety around them.
It may have been this random incident, or possibly because of the time I was excommunicated from a church. Regardless of why, people in general at times cause me to suffer extreme anxiety.
Most of the time this is not true working the night shift as an ER nurse. When the nice and normal day shift people have left, all the odd balls come out to work. I relate to these odd balls well, because I am one of them. Working as an ER nurse is not a normal interaction with people anyway. Let me tell you why. Say for instance, you were having a heart attack. Instead of saying "nice to meet you", I am removing their clothing in order to attach a heart monitor and do an EKG. Rather than shake a hand, I am sticking needles into it. It is a very unusual way to interact with a perfect stranger. Only in hospitals is this kind of behavior appropriate. Please don't try it any where else.
When I am forced to interact with people, I sometimes feel I must pretend to be "normal". The problem is, I don't know what "normal" is. I fake it, but I don't pull it off well. After studying other people over time, I have come to the conclusion that many of them are trying to pretend to be "normal" as well. Here's some good scriptures for all of you faking it odd balls.
1 John 3
1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us,because it did not know Him. 2 Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 3 And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.
1 John 1 : 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
We must all embrace our individuality. We must no longer pretend to be normal. Yes, people may think we are weird, but that's o.k., because, after all, we are. Being weird and interacting with people actually provides great blog writing material if you can maintain your sense of humor.