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Friday, June 26, 2009

Working Mom Blues and the case of the aliens who kept me from exercising

I am very excited to be participating in a long distance swim in about a month. It has been a dream of mine to tone up and do something like this for years. Particularly, I have wanted to do this swim for years. I felt like Cinderella on the way to the ball when my husband gave me his blessing and even drove my application to the mailbox.Soon I was to discover, that there was a secret plot by outlandish aliens to stop me from getting buff and diligently training. Here's what they did :

On Monday, I played volley ball with the girls. Despite the cold, damp rainy weather the aliens had arranged for, we showed up anyway. Just as I was learning the essentials of setting and spiking a ball, an alien ray zapped my calf and pulled the muscle. I hobbled after the ball as much as I was able for the remainder of the game. It was embarrassing and distressing, but I kept a stiff upper lip. When I drove home, I could hardly get out of the truck. Aliens had froze my leg in its position and I had to take a hot bath to melt the effects of the ice ray gun.
On Tuesday, I had to rest because of the pain in my leg. I could have sworn I saw them high fiveing each other in their space ship in the sky.
On Wednesday, I exercised like a maniac because they were out of town getting their flying saucer worked on. I did a lot of running, hiking and even got into the lake and trained with my friend Silverbell.
On Thursday, I discovered that they had visited me during the night. They had me all tied up in knots. I couldn't get out of bed without unfolding myself. I was back to limping and hobbling. I took the boys fishing and played a little light volley ball.
On Friday, I thought things would get better. It finally looked like I would get in the lake for some good training. The weather cleared and the sun came out. Hurriedly, I rushed the boys along. I almost couldn't believe my good fortune. No one was there. The sun was out. I had an hour or more with some one watching the baby. Things were looking up. I made the mistake of laying in the sun for 15 minuetes to warm up. Then I made a pit stop to some yonder bushes. Then I fiddled with my new persciption goggles. These were all distractions that I am sure the aliens are some how responsible for. Just as I got into the lake, dark clouds ensued and it began pouring on me. A bunch of ladies and little kids showed up in the rain looking hopeful. My window of time was elapsing and I didn't want to get caught out in the lake if lightening started. Disgusted with myself, I wimped out. As the boys and I headed up the trail, the rain began to slow and eventually stopped. By the time I was home and in the shower the sun had peeked out again. I think they are trying to manipulate the weather and possibly my psyche.
I did get a long snuggle and nursing time with my baby and I read Cat man some stories today too. I even played a little volley ball with the kids, though the aliens smugly burnt a hole into the ground with their eyes and twisted my ankle as I ran for the ball. Though they have successfully sabotaged my attempts to train this week, I have at least enjoyed quality time with my kids.
Now that I am working for a few days, they have nothing to worry about. They know there is food all over the hospital so there is little they have to do. Does anybody have any idea how I can elude these pesky green men? Oh for the fresh cool water and the feeling of a good swim. I am beginning to remind myself of my old dog, Zinc, (God rest his soul) who stiffly hobbled along to the end. He couldn't keep up but he tried valiantly. He had this three legged run thing going that my running on Wednesday closely resembled. Is there no end to these alien assaults?


Me said...

Bet you wish you were at home right now!!!

Anonymous said...

Why would you need your husbands permission to do a swim?? can you not make decisions for yourself?? are you not your own person?