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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Working Mom Blues and the Case of the Soggy Nocturnal Reptillian

I should have known that since everything was going right for me at home, everything would go wrong for me other places. Since I can't blog about my life as a nurse due to confidentiality, I have decided to share with you the pre-cursor to a really bad night shift.
"I want you to take a nap before you work tonight" my husband informed me. Taking a nap before work for me is stressful. Why is taking a nap stressful? Because while I am laying there I am obsessing about what I need to get done before I have to leave. "Did I cook the family a good meal?" "Did I leave the laundry reasonably caught up?" "Did I pack my self some healthy meals and snacks?" "Did I inform my friends of any changes in plans due to this shift?" "Are there any choking or old food hazards on the floor that the baby will have access to?" On and on my mind goes until it spins up tighter than one of those balls at the end of a rope that you spin around a pole. You get the idea.
As I finally lay there, having got as much as I could possibly get done, I begged my mind to take a short mental vacation. Just as she was leaving for a tropical island, the phone rang. It was a telemarketer. "Don't give me the phone when its a telemarketer" I could hear my husband informing the kids. Next the phone rang and it was a bill collector. The third time I was about to sleep and the phone rang, I was beginning to get a clue that this may be a bad omen of things to come. Finally as I obediently dozed off to sleep, my 6 year old came into the room. "Mom I don't mean to disturb you, but how do I get this bleeding to stop?". Remember that I am an emergency room nurse and making a statement like that caused me to almost spring off the bed and begin CPR. In reality, it was a microscopic few drops of blood from a scrape and I advised him to wash with soap and water while rolling over in bed. By now, the baby wanted to start nursing again. I am always nervous about falling asleep with her in my bed because she is crawling around these days and I don't want her to fall.
That next morning, Moonbeam was again a challenge. Though tired, I am constantly thinking "don't sleep too hard" "Remember you have to stay awake and find somebody to take her when your done nursing". I put imaginary toothpicks in my eyelids. By early afternoon I was feeling quite stuffy. It was a beautiful day and I was stuck inside having to sleep. I got out of bed and threw open the windows. Then I laid there pouting "how come I have to stay in here?" my inner brat pouted. Finally, trying to appease her, I grabbed a blanket and my mother's famous orthopaedic pillow that is supposed to guarantee you happy dreams of fluffy sheep and headed out to the trampoline. The sun was out and I imagined I could bask in the sun possibly working on my tan. Just as I settled in like a happy reptilian, one of the kids brought Moonbeam out for a snack. Visions of my baby bouncing off the trampoline kept an eye open. After the children had taken her away and I was just about to catch some sunny zzzz's, the sun went behind a cloud. I got cold. Art dog brought me a blanket. My silky orthopaedic pillow had no traction on the trampoline and it slipped away from my head. Suddenly it started to rain. By now, I wanted to start bawling. I covered up my head with the blanket and ridiculously refused to acknowledge that I was being rained on. I began to wonder what time it was. Finally the sprinkle stopped and a drunken mosquito began to precariously drive inebriated circles around my head. It obviously couldn't handle drinking the fresh rain well because it was quite belligerent.
Just as I fell asleep, it was time to get ready for work. My bad day had only begun...................................


Ramblings of a Crazy Mom said...

I so feel for you. All I can say is I understand and I feel for you!

Heather said...

You make me laugh! :)