Sunday, July 12, 2009
The boys have been enjoying many adventures together. Some days they go out fishing and bring me home a whole passel of fish to fry. Other days they hike high up into the mountains. They see many different wild animals and come home to tell us exciting stories. Its nice that they have so much fun together.
I've been trying diligently to blog lately, but I've mostly been altogether unsuccessful. On hot days, the lake calls my name and I can't focus on anything but getting into the water. At work, there is usually some quiet hours in the still of the night where the world sleeps peacefully and no emergencies emerge. I have, however, had lots of projects during those down times. At home, in the evenings or on rainy days, I've tried several times. Then the baby fusses. My 6 year old finds it a great time to ask for things he knows I'd normally say "no" to. He's learned that my distractions can be his friend. Even my daughter likes to find me and begin conversations. When I'm sitting at the computer, I'm like a sitting duck with a beacon on my head saying "I have time to give you attention" and everyone eventually makes a bee line for me here. Each time, I remind myself that (Lord Willing) I can blog until I'm 90, but my babies will only be here for the first part of my life. There are many long years to blog after child rearing has ended.
This same dilemma extends to my swim training. I start out with the intent of training. Some days Catman tags along (and rightfully so). Of course on those days I end up watching him and working on my tan. I partially solved that "training problem" with hiking to the lake on my own and then having my husband drop the kids off later after giving me an hour or so head start. KUDOS to my wonderful man for his kindness in all that. Still, several times, I've been foiled by wanting to stop and visit with people I see there. The idea of ignoring people I know to train is just unbearable. Relationships are important to me. Somebody is always in need of a friend to spill out the woes of the world upon and quite often that some one is me. This week, one of my children made the comment that I remind them of a "walking self help book". I continue to hope that I will not look foolish at the open water swim and so in good faith I performed some floor exercises as a consolation for the rainy weather today.
Sleep seems to elude me in the same manner. My baby is just getting her two front teeth. One has poked its way through and the other is bulging. Because of this, her desire to nurse is insatiable. Of course once a week or so, my job steels one night. Today as I napped on the couch, one of the children decided (I'm not sure why) to cover my face with a camouflage "Born to Hunt" baseball cap. The baby began pulling my hair. My daughters birthday toy ball maze lit up singing "Polar Bears and Penguins love the ice, Brrr its cold and that's so nice". That song seems to haunt me in my sleep all to often. I bet most of you don't have nightmares about plastic polar bears and penguins singing. Then my husband inquired as to why I was sleeping wakening me from my fitful doze. Another child thought it was the perfect time to ask for candy.
I wonder at times if I ever do get anything accomplished, though some how I must. My life is rich and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
The other day I ran into a woman my age. She's been through a string of unsuccessful relationships. I was never as much fun as she is. I certainly don't have her figure. I'm pretty sure she's much more knowledgeable in the medical world. She has more money. I looked into her eyes and I felt so sorry for her. It wasn't anything she did or didn't say. I just knew that she wasn't happy. I could feel it. All the fun trips and exciting men didn't bring her lasting happiness. Her car, her house, her career left her empty. True contentment comes from God. Its a choice we make, but also a gift He gives.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.