For those of you who don’t know me well, when I’m blogging at work, I often entitle my posts with “Working Mom Blues and The Case of……” Then I usually tell about some adventure with my kids prior to my coming to work. Since I’m an Emergency Room RN and Hospital Supervisor, I’m not at liberty to discuss what goes on at my job. Since I’m at work, and in an attempt to make my Perfect 10 Challenge Update more interesting, I have taken the liberty to combine the two posts – here goes :
Sock Fashion Expert rolled her eyes. “That is not acceptable” she moaned. Being Substitute Teacher in my absence, she’d asked Super Catman to list 3 reasons why people first came to America. One of the reasons he listed was “because they wanted to”. He and Art Dog had affixed a piece of long shimmery almost transparent material to Moonbeam's high chair. On the other end, he held it extended and rippled the material. It had come from a box that my dear departed aunt graced me with many many moons ago. “Hey! That’s a Dupata!” I marveled. I had never known she’d given me a striped dupata. “What’s a dupata?” asked Sock Fashion Expert. I showed her. It’s like a long scarf, worn by women in India and other countries. It helps to ensure modesty.
Not long after that, I found myself out enjoying a nice Nordic hike in the fresh air. I like “Nordic Hiking”, that is, hiking with ski poles especially when it’s icy or when I’m packing Moonbeam. The poles give my arms a little bit of work out. It evenly distributes weight (great for heavy people) to take pressure off joints and helps with stability. I waved at my neighbor “Herb”. “What the paranoid possums are you doing?!” He demanded, eyeing me suspiciously. I explained to him about Nordic Walking. Since he was skeptical, I assured him I could use the poles to fend off raging chipmunks and baby hedge hogs. He seemed more satisfied with that answer, peering up into the trees nervously.
Herb’s an unusual guy. Instead of having a planter with butterfly bush in the front yard, there’s a sweet smelling kind of leafy plant there. Instead of a nice flower windmill in the planter winding in the breeze, a psychedelic purple peace symbol stands erected. One day, when we were entertaining a visitor with a travel trailer, the visitor got up to urinate in the middle of the night. As he stepped out the door, he almost wet himself. There in the bushes was Herb peering at him with night vision goggles. I told the visitor, “don’t worry, its only Herb. He does that kind of thing all the time”. Today, Herb was wearing a cap with a logo “I’m not as think as you stoned I am”. He had earlier winked at his wife boasting “don’t worry, she won’t catch my drift”. With a blond airy tone to my voice I innocently asked if his hat referred to how rocky the soil around here was. He nodded smugly. I asked Herb what he was doing. He told me he was tracking wolves. I looked on the ground at the prints. Not long ago, I’d noticed some undigested dog food vomit, but I held my tongue. Herb was a likable guy, alright. He was just a little bit different. A faraway look in his eyes told me that he wasn’t always participating in our conversation at hand. One never knew where Herb would pop up and what he would be doing at the time. As I continued on, Herb muttered “crazy religious snitch”. “Sorry?” I asked sweetly. “I said the air is rich”, and with that, Herb disappeared into the forest as quickly as he’d appeared.
I continued on and pondered my Perfect 10 update. “Hmm….” I contemplated. “ I will have to say “yes” to goal one. I have exercised every day. Even in the big city, I swam in the pool daily. Goal two – almost! I forgot to do the abd work when I was in the city those 3 days. Goal three – very successful. The kids are doing floor exercises when they see me doing them. They’re eating healthier, etc.. Goal four – current. Goal five – good, except for when we were in the big city. It was hard to eat healthy there, but I was very specific about limiting how much I ate. I was amazed I held my own on those days. I've also been recording what I eat in a journal. It wasn't one of my goals, but its been helping me keep track. Goal six – holding my own. Goal seven – not yet. Goal eight – I’m at 10 lb loss from 1/1 (work scale challenge) and currently one of the top contenders. Goal nine – does swimming and sit ups with the kids count? Goal ten – bought a cute tweedish teal coat and a work out jacket. Ok, now what to tell them about me. I know! I’ll tell them that my father, whom I’ve never met, went missing in India during the 1980’s. Seven years ago, for the first time ever, I travelled with my family to India and met some of my paternal family. All my life, I’d wondered why I was the way I am. Shocked, I was to discover these family members even shared my very mannerisms. We stayed there for two months and also did missionary work through out India, though we used their home as our base of operations. To this day, no one can offer me any clues as to the disappearance of my biological father. Yeah, I guess that will do it.”
Disclaimer : "Herb" isn't actually a person. He is symbolic of a conglomeration of people I may or may not be acquainted with.