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Sunday, February 8, 2009

the elderly woman i want to beat up

photo 1 notice my daughter with an excited look on her face talking on the phone.
photo 2 notice the "men's room" directly beside their table.

Well I did get into the gun and horn show. And as you may have guessed, I stealthily took this photo from underneath a nearby table..... just kidding. I was led through a back door (because I didn't have to pay since they were vendors). I was horrified to find out what horrors lied beyond!!! All kinds of boring guy stuff! Table after pathetic table of EXTRA BORING guy stuff! I have deemed myself as a professional shopper and I was horrified to find that there was not a thing I wanted to buy.
The only table with "girl stuff" on it was what I later found out belonged to a sinister elderly lady. She looked innocent enough eating a miracle bread peanut butter sandwich. She had the only table in the entire place with girl stuff on it. She was directly located across from my husband and son's table which was directly next to the men's bathroom. This pleased them. Not the woman's table, the fact that everybody who went to the bathroom had to go by them. It also emitted an unpleasant odor that they got to sit next to for 3 days. Any how, I viewed this woman's table and didn't see anything I was too interested in. Little did I know, but she was eying my son's beaver pelt from afar.
My curiosity satisfied, after tormenting my family with the "isn't this cute - their first table" pictures, and sitting behind theirs for about 2.5 minutes, I decided it was time for me to run some errands. Little did I know that sweet old miracle bread and peanut butter sandwich lady was about to make a very indecent proposal to one of my men!!!
After I picked them up, they were laughing about this woman trying to get Kevin III (my 17 year old)'s beaver pelt. She tried trading him some pretty rocks. She tried giving him credit for anything on her table. In her final desperation to obtain my son's furry brown beaver pelt, she took out none other than some "vintage" playboy magazines!!!! Had I been there she may have hit the floor with a thud because NOBODY offers my kids pornography and lives to see tomorrow!!!!! In the end he came home with his pelt laughing about the ordeal (and probably my horrified face). He was also grinning pretty big because he made a killing on his antlers.


Anonymous said...

Please ask your daughter if she was talking to "Sally M" in that picture.

Anonymous said...




ok im done

*snickers behind hand* hehe

Who knew old ladies could be so sinister!! you should pray for her.

Me said...

Mom, she never showed him the playboy magazines. All she said was that he could have credit for any of the stuff she had on the table.

outdoor.mom said...

me : thats not what he told me!! anonymous : possibly yes, sally m

Heather said...

It speaks well of you and your husband that you have so much confidence in your eldest. His relationship with the Lord is obviously the most important thing in his life.

As for the elderly lady. . .good thing you didn't see her afterwards!

sillyliss said...

All right. I give. What's a miracle peanut butter sandwich???

I have never been to a gun show. But this is pretty much what I imagined it would be.

Me said...

It's not like that at all. I should know. I was there.
When Kevin told you that, he was being sarcastic.
Sillyliss, don't judge a gun show until you have been to one.

outdoor.mom said...


Kevin told me this am that she flipped through the magazines, conveniently landing on some playboy ones and asked him "does anything catch your eye?" that is SINISTER!!!

sillyliss : miracle bread is that cheap yucky white bread that they sell in the grocery store. Next time you are in the bread section look for the cheapest yuckiest and there it will be.

triLcat said...

you mean "wonder-who-would-eat-it" bread?