I'm really coming out of the closet on this one. I hope you won't be too offended. Just like spider man or batman, or maybe a little more like underdog coming out of the phone booth, sometimes God sends me "on a job". I feel a little bit like an FBI agent. A nice undercover mom with 5 kids. A nurse. A Christian. Little does anybody know about my secret identity.
It usually happens when I least expect it. I'm minding my own business trying desperately to behave (though I am not usually successful), I find myself on the uncomfortable conviction of "a mission". Try to imagine spy music about now as you are reading please......
This time it was a woman with 5 kids. She left her husband for "spiritual reasons". The whole mess stunk of foul play. I just felt so grieved over the whole thing I could hardly stand it. To make matters worse, she's an agent too. One I've known for quite some time. Somebody had to do something. As I pondered and prayed over this matter the still small voice of my boss came over the loud speaker. "YOU need to do something". After tossing it around for a few days I knew that to ignore it would be disobedience. Being a good seasoned agent requires obedience, even if you have to put yourself on the line. Finally I caved and called to arrange a meeting.
I didn't give my friends any details, I just asked them to pray for me. Then I spent a night tossing and turning. First I dreamed I was sliding off a cliff. Over and over again as I fell back asleep my car plummeted with Moonbeam and I inside. It was on an all too familiar stretch of road on the way to see this woman. I went to sleep again and dreamed that this time she was chasing me all over with a knife. I couldn't get Moonbeam out in time. She was just insane. After I woke up, I was accosted many times by this otherwise nice lady. Finally I got up to pray. By then I was ready to abort the mission completely. As I prayed that still small voice reminded me that this is what He asked me to do. He told me she loved Him and started out right, but had gotten off the path in this thing. I didn't have any "special lightning bolt word". It was just an assurance from God that I was being obedient.
I went back to sleep and this time I died of natural causes in my 80's. Well, it was getting better anyway. In the morning my husband encouraged me. He gave me some advice on the meeting. Then he drove Moonbeam and I down to our Suburban and blessed me as I drove away.
I want you to know that I didn't drive off a cliff. Nor did the woman chase me down with a knife. She was just a mislead woman stuck in the lifeless mess that her own hands created. She didn't really believe I was an agent sent from God. She was sure that her case was "special". She acted like she didn't have any intention of going back to her husband. She acted like she and her kids were much happier now without him. I felt a wall and maybe a "you sure missed God on this one" though she was very polite. Though I gave the Word I had for her I couldn't help but wonder where I'd went wrong. Then the still small voice reminded me that I couldn't make her choose. I could only be obedient to what He'd given me. Still I felt like I wanted to vomit. How could anybody destroy their home? How could anybody willfully damage their children with such spiritual pride? I don't know. I can't judge her or her situation.
After I left her house I spent some time with a good friend who loves me. We joked and laughed (even though I still thought I might vomit). An old woman who loves to hear me speak in womens meetings saw me in the store. Out of context she told me "your tough - you can take it". I knew it was a word of encouragement. Not long after that I saw her husband. I didn't say anything to him, I just waved. I started to feel very grateful for my life. All the times I thought I had reason to leave, I chose not to. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. The road with God is hard, but it always leads to blessings. I can't say anything else except I know that I know I did what I was supposed to do. When I got home another good friend called to see how I was doing. She told me she had been praying. It felt so good to know that I have friends who love me. I have a husband who supports me. I have a God who trusts me enough to send me on these "missions" and whether I look stupid or I'm "missing it", I know I've been true to the mission and to my boss.
My children were quite pleased that I staked out the grocery store on the way home and did intercept some frozen pizza after the mission was completed. Its not easy being an agent!
Proverbs 14:1The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.